Tending to an addict can become a sober person’s addiction.

Tending to an addict can become a sober person’s addiction.

My getting and staying clean didn’t just impact me and my brother. My train wrecked trail of total devastation affected everyone around me. Many of those closest to me had become trained by my actions. Always tending, babysitting and cleaning up my mess. But what happens to those people when someone like me finally decides to stop using drugs?

Often confusion.

When I stopped, I saw those closest to me scratching their heads wondering what to do with themselves next. It was apparent they had become so used to taking care of me that they had forgotten how to live for themselves. My constant drain on their free time caused them to lose their own identity somewhere along the way.

When an addict stops using, it’s common for his/her caretakers to have to look into their own mirror for the first time in years. They no longer have a scapegoat to point the finger at for things and this then forces them to look into their own mirror and in a new and sometimes not so glamorous light. I have seen this firsthand. Now that I am sober I can clearly see who has been willing to discover and deal with their own issues that they have ignored, and those whom have decided to hang on to their past and avoid them.

It’s important for everyone that plays any role in the disease of addiction to work on becoming healthy. Recovery doesn’t just apply to the one suffering from substance use disorder; it applies to everyone in that circle. Recovery is for everyone to enjoy!

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About me: I am Super Star (yes, that is my legal name). I have earned that name – and accomplished what many people would consider impossible – because I chose to stay sober one day at a time. I left the crack houses to mingle with Hollywood’s elite, ending up working with all of my childhood musical heroes, and have now found my purpose in life after surviving an almost 15-year battle with the disease of addiction.

Currently, I am an advocate for kids in recovery from substance abuse (and prevention as well) in Malibu, California, as well as from my home in Chicago, a sober companion to many, director of a non-profit that helps those struggling with recovery, and passionate speaker to kids about the issues of drugs and addiction.

I am also an author and musician. I am currently finishing my work on the book, “The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Ultimate Survival Guide to Staying Sober,” which can be pre-ordered here. I have also just wrapped up the recording of Serenity, a first-of-its-kind CD created in conjunction with my twin brother Rock Star solely to combat addiction. “Serenity,” was produced by a Grammy-winning producer and features many of our musical heroes, who have come together to help us tell our story in an effort to help others through their own addiction struggles. Guests on our CD include current and former members of bands such as Kiss, Heart, The Goo Goo Dolls, Dokken, Trans-Siberian Orchestra as well as many more. It rocks – musically and inspirationally – and can be found here

Pass this on if you feel it can help someone and feel free to visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com

I am having a craving for drugs, what do I do?

I am having a craving for drugs, what do I do?

Its often I have cravings for drugs and/or alcohol. Heck, even with all this time sober, my disease still haunts me. It’s waiting for the moment that I turn to it and ask it for help again like I used to before I learned how to help myself. Help to take away my pain, my sorrow. The mornings dread that I face at the beginning of each new day while taking a shower. It would be so easy for me to succumb to its relentless pleading. But I can’t. In fact, it’s not even an option for me anymore. Drugs and alcohol are just no longer an option because I know what they want, my soul; and as long as I am alive, I am not going to give it to them.

Life is hard. My parents used to tell me that all the time but they never mentioned if there was anything beyond that. Well there is and it’s called having to stay sober when you finally decide that you want to. Having to fight the cravings that we drug addicts face is like no other. Those brutally hard moments that I cannot compare to anything. They are like a weight on my thoughts, but heavier. Or like a push in the wrong direction from a force that is invisible but with a clear and shadowy evil grin. Cravings are brutal alright, that’s why many of us fail to survive them. But there is a way to get past them and it took me 15 years to figure many of those ways out. In fact I am having a craving right at this very moment but I know in the next, I would have already forgotten that I was having it.

There are a ton of tools that we can use to fend off the advances of our disease. A lot of them can be found in our forthcoming book: The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Ultimate Survival Guide to Staying Sober. I mention the book not as a selfish plug but for you to consider if you are still struggling with the disease of addiction or if you are the friend or family member trying to help someone like me. Someone who is always having to fight to stay free from its grip. The tools are my necessity for survival and they are all out there for you to have for your toolbox as well.

Remember that craving I was just having? It’s gone. Why? Because I just told someone. I told you. That’s all I had to do. In the time it took me to write those last two paragraphs (about 10 minutes), I have killed off the craving simply by sharing my desire for drugs with someone. Sounds easy but in reality, its hard for some. Especially for the newcomer. Opening yourself up enough to show someone you’re vulnerable and human is something that eludes most people but you cannot let this elude you. Here are 3 reasons why telling on yourself works.

1. Telling someone makes it harder to go out and get your fix. If you’re having a craving, tell someone. Depending on the situation, all eyes might now be on you now. We can’t depend on others to baby-sit us but if you are in that type of situation early in recovery, you sure better take the babysitter! If I wanted to go out and buy some dope right now I couldn’t because whomever I just told would think I am leaving to go score it. Telling someone who now knows that I want it makes it that much harder to go out and get it. Time and time again it’s been enough for me to buckle down and stay safe inside.

2. Telling someone immediately holds you accountable. I’ve told the world that I have a substance use disorder. Now guess what would happen if I screw up? Exactly! All that I have built comes tumbling down. I don’t suggest you start telling everyone that you know though. In fact, I would pick and choose wisely with whom you share your secrets with. Most people are not as they appear, love to pass along the newfound drama and professionally, it can hurt you. However, telling people who are close to you and you trust, might just make you choose sobriety over having to utter the words “I’m sorry,” after yet another relapse, ever again. Having to say I am sorry sucks and gets worse every freaking time.

3. Telling someone kills time. Did you know that most cravings leave in a matter of 5 minutes or less? Yup, they sure do. In fact, the tick-tock of the clock is our biggest asset. In the time that you took to muster up the courage to tell someone that you are experiencing a craving, that very craving will most likely be gone. It’ll be back though, and next time you might need another tool to pull from your toolbox.

There are plenty more reasons’ why telling someone close to you that you are having cravings helps take you beyond them but these are the three that came the quickest to me today. They might be obvious to some but to us others who are caught up in that moment of our disease, they are not. Learning to tell someone of your craving as its happening takes practice and courage. It’s extremely hard but it has gotten easier for me with time and it will for you also.

Thank you for reading my Teenage Drug Abuse blog!

-Super Star

Please visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com and if you feel this can help someone you know, please pass it on!