How metal music helped me stay sober in 2009!

How Metal Music helped me stay sober in 2009.

Ok, well maybe not exactly. Let me explain.

2009 started very rough. I was just coming out of my addiction. I was depressed. I was irritated, I hated you, I hated me. I was broke, again. It just wasn’t a very nice time for me. I was up against all the odds. However, the one thing I was not was lazy. I was determined to make 2009 the year I set things in motion for myself that would ultimately help my brother and I succeed in 2010. The first thing I needed to do to help me get through this difficult period was to think about what lay ahead of me if I choose to stay sober. All those things I knew that would be mine, if I stayed clean were possible if I did.

I didn’t have much support. In fact, I was surrounded by people who wanted to see me fail. Make no mistake, the ones that you think are supporting you, do not. Jealousy is brutal and real. Both my brother and I learned this the hard way. Hollywood is full of sharks and when you have nothing more to offer the leeches there, you are tossed away like yesterdays garbage. It’s a fact, when I walk around Beverly Hills like I have cash, then I’m gods gift. When I walk around in my gym clothes, no one but no one looks my way. It’s not as glamorous as the movies make it out to be. Rock Star can confirm when you don’t have a $56,000 bracelet on your wrist, you’re no one to anyone. Period.

I can count on less than ten fingers how many people believed in my brother and I in 2009 but I never EVER used this as an excuse to go out and use again. From the people we hired to support us in our endeavors to the ones closest to us, to this day want to see us fail miserably. I have the emails and have saved the voicemails to prove it. Most have laughed in our face and to our faces while using us all along. What they didn’t know is that we knew this. Every moment, we knew it. We used this to our advantage. Most think we and our ideas are the biggest jokes on the planet.Really? I didn’t know saving lives was a joke. But that’s all about to change in 2010.

In 2009 I, along with Rock Star have launched a non-profit to help kids stay sober. Developing all the programs and initiatives for this non-profit was no small task. We’ve successful written and composed a groundbreaking educational rock CD called “Serenity” to help combat the disease of addictions amongst our youth. Despite the naysayers, we were successful in recording this effort with all of our childhood heroes. This should be seen by many as a huge testament to the power of sobriety and the redemption that comes with. We have sat through the development of three different television programs that were based upon us, (all of which of course never saw the light of day once we refused to write the checks to the leeches). We have written a book, developed and prototyped a dog-training device that will rear its head in 2010, (I know, random isn’t it?), networked with actors and musicians of all types, changed our names, and strategically positioned ourselves to do something big in 2010. Everything we have done was done for a reason, in proper order, all of it, to get us to this position today. All this while taking verbal abuse and insults from almost everyone that looked in our general direction. By the way, all while staying sober, attending meetings, helping others, and paying it forward.

Why am I telling you this? Because as an addict, you need to know you have an uphill battle and while your climbing it, some people may try to push you down. However, every day you stay sober, you get stronger, and then that day comes when you are at the top. That is the ultimate high. With all this being said, I’ve probably received 200 emails of support in 2009 from people in 20 different countries. Who knows how many Rock Star received. After all, he’s the cooler half of the bunch and I thank each and everyone of you for them.

There have been a few musicians that have showed their support and have made it a point to do so. Zak Stevens (Savatage, Circle II Circle), is one of these musicians. I can call him as I please, vent, complain, and I know at the end of that phone call he doesn’t think anything less of me. He has my back and I have his. His songs on our forthcoming CD will change the way people look at him. He’s already a rock god vocalist to many, but after we release his songs to the world, will be sought after more than ever, just as he should have been all along. His passion for singing the way a singer should, all his training, will get the respect it deserves. He’s also going to be responsible for helping the world wake up about the disease of addiction and get the help they so desperately need. My brother and I are making sure he comes out of the gate strong and make no mistake about it, you’ll hear him soon in places you never thought you would. Thank you Zak for everything in 2009, 2010 is your year!

Another one is Chris Caffery, (TSO, Savatage). We didn’t just wake up, call Chris, and become friends with him one day. My brother and I worked at working with him just as we do everything else. From an angle. When people send in pictures to an audition, we send life-size cardboard cutouts of ourselves. (true story). For Chris, this relationship took years in the making to develop and we knew it would. We knew years ago that we wanted to work with him someday. The question back then was how to make this happen. I can thank Rock Star for his ingenious idea that helped this dream come true to fruition. Since then, Chris, Rock Star, and I have shared many days together and have developed a great bond with one of the worlds greatest guitarists. He will also be on our CD “Serenity” and I will tell you to expect nothing less than sheer greatness from his performances. In fact, we saved the three best tracks for him. Thank you Chris for everything thing in 2009, I am looking forward to 2010!

There are other supporters to mention. Stevie Rachelle from Tuff is one of them. Stevie calls it like it is. That’s why Metal Sludge is so successful. (www.metalsludge.tv). First hand, he saw how others treated my brother and I in 2009 and helped us see it the way it really was. He was just as disgusted as we were by the lack of disrespect to our story and effort and told us that its only a matter of time before we have our redemption. Thank you Stevie. Your track “Get out of my way” is a blistering punch in the face to those individuals and was the perfect choice to open our CD “Serenity”. Stevie, may 2010 be your best year.

Lorraine Lewis from Femme Fatale has been another guiding light to the Rock Star Super Star Project. Here is a woman that I can clearly recall having her face plastered in every corner of my room growing up and now she’s on my speed dial. I’m not boasting. I’m trying to convey the power of sobriety and the magnitude and importance of perseverance. The promises due exists, providing you stay clean to see them through. Lorraine sang on our track called “We Are One” and to see her in the studio rock out in real life was something I will cherish every day for the rest of my existence. Thank you Lorraine, I’ll always have a poster of you somewhere.

My brother and I wrote a tune for Doro Pesch called “Such a Bitch”, which is now “Mistress Insidious.” However soon after doing so found out she was unavailable. Doro has always been someone I’ve wanted to work with and finding out that I couldn’t, at least for now, was disheartening. After all, here was this track that we thought only she could do justice. We really thought it was going to be a throw it away. Then I walked into a record store one day and from the music overhead heard the voice that changed everything. The name of the band Benedictum. The name of the vocalist, Veronica Freeman. Veronica has more guts than almost any male singer out there does and this track will no doubt have to be released as a single. Everytime I hear it I laugh because there is hardly a male around that could be more metal than Veronica. What most don’t know however is just how sweet of angle she is at heart. She is always there to take my calls and as every addict needs, is always there to offer me up sound advice of how to get through my most treacherous moments. She accepts me as who I am when most only do an about face.

There are others to mention that have participated on our CD “Serenity.”. George Lynch from Dokken played a screaming solo and took the time to design our CD cover. Cheri Curry (Runaways) nailed her performance on “Rockin Angel”, Bruce Kulick (Kiss) lit up our “Do it for you” track. Carlos Cavazo (Quiet Riot) blazed through “One day at a time”. Howard Leese (Heart), David Schultz, (Goo Goo Dolls), and Jon Olivia, (Savatage), all played a part in helping Rock Star and I create the amazing and first ever educational Rock CD about addiction. However, it’s these four mentioned prior that have had the most impact on me both personally and professionally and that have helped me to want to stay sober.

I do want to continue to be as over enthusiastic about my hopes and dreams tomorrow as I am today. I do want to continue to be considered a pain in the ass to everyone that surrounds me for my continued quest for perfection. 2010 I will be just as ridiculed and insulted as I was in 2009 by those who simply just can’t keep up with my ideas or passion for making this life the best I can for myself and for those that surround me. As someone just said recently, “You’re like a kid on Christmas everyday.” That person was right, I am. I am because everyday, every moment while sober is a gift, and to all the addicts reading this blog, your dreams can be used as a tool to stay sober and as long as you’re clean, your dreams can too become reality.

Best advice I can give from the get go? Lose the resentments from the prior year. Resentments often times will lead to a relapse. Dump them and never carry them again. Its easier then you think when you practice doing so.

Up the horns addicts, here’s to 2010!

-Super Star
www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com