What do drugs look like mommy?

What do drugs look like mommy?

If you feel this can help someone, please pass it on!

I’ve got a good story. A five year-old son heard his mommy on the phone the other day talking about a meeting. The meeting in question was an AA meeting. He said, "ANOTHER meeeeeeeeting mommy?" “Yup”, said the mommy. She then, just as many times before, reminded him about drugs. She then says “I go so mommy don't get sick again.” And the son was fine with this.

Then he asked, "What do drugs look like mommy?"

She said, "Some look like regular medicine. Some look like cigarettes. Some look like candy. Some look like food. So don't ever take anything, even if it looks yummy, from someone you don't know and trust."

Perfect answer MOMMY!!!!

Super Star
Crusader for Sobriety
www.weareoneonline.org

Lead by example

Man have I been busy! UGH! Some BIG BIG things are about to happen and it’s had me side tracked for a few days preparing for all that is to come. But never in my life have I ever been more involved and compelled to help in anyway I can to make a difference in someone’s recovery.

I was in a local shopping center this morning and someone approached me and asked me a question. The question, “Besides peer pressure, what would you say is another contributing factor to a child’s desire to experiment with drugs/alcohol?

Well there are tons of reasons that contribute to someone’s desire to use drugs. Of course most of the time, they are used a as coping mechanism. I would say this is the most common reason for a child, or even an adult to pick up. However, kids often times pick up bad habits from watching the very same people that are telling them “not to”. Their own parents

Your addictive behavior puts your child at risk. In fact, parental behavior is the top influence on a child's later behavior. The link between parental addictive behavior and risk to their children of developing addictive behaviors is well established. Rather than telling your child to “do as I say, not as I do,” which is ineffective, practice moderation in your own life. You will increase the chances that your child will do the same.

So lead by example. Be watchful of your own behaviors. Even the most subtle of them are instilling the ideas in your kids minds, if your doing it, then they can too.

Until next time

Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org

Parent Denial

Being a parent in denial is a major factor in the drug abuse epidemic that is happening with our children. Just two years ago, the National Institute of Drug Abuse reported that half of all high school seniors in America have experimented with illegal drugs, and about three-quarters of them have tried alcohol.

What is “denial?”.

Denial is an unconscious defense mechanism characterized by the refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings. I’m sure parents whom have already faced evidence staring them right in the face know first hand how easy it can be to reject the truth staring right back at them.
But denial can be deadly.

If you’re suspicious that your child might be using, look into the situation. There is nothing to lose and only our children’s lives and futures to gain.

Making Sobriety Cool
www.superstarsuperstar.com

Are you mad because no one told you about drug use in the home?

Should you be mad at your kids if they knew and didn’t tell you?

I talked to woman the other day who told me all that all her siblings knew that of one of her sons was experimenting with drugs. Because of this she felt violated and was angry because she had been “left in the dark.”.

She didn’t like it when I told her to “Get over it.”.

I wasn’t mean when I said it. Just direct, and quick to change the direction of the conversation, slightly. After telling her to “get over it”, I pointed out to her that it was an opportunity for change. And a very positive one at that. To get a sense of her situation I asked her how she had found out of the drug use, to which her reply was “I overheard my daughter talking about it on the cell with another friend.” I could tell she was upset. She felt her kids didn’t trust her. I told her it was either that or they were just afraid of her. But there could be a couple other reasons, to which I will get to in a bit. What I wanted to let her know was at that moment, not one but two opportunities revealed themselves and that she should be grateful they did. The alternative could be much worse. The first thing that was revealed was being made aware as to the drug use itself and to seek appropriate help. Thank god this happened. Two being, its time to position yourself once again as the “go to” person regarding any type of concern within your family. After all, this is the way it should be. You’re the Mom for goodness sakes. Your kids should feel that they can approach you with anything, especially things like this.

I know kids often feel like that don’t want to rat on their brothers or sisters. What’s also important to understand and actually appreciate is that kids don’t like to let their parents down. Alternatively, depending on what’s going on at home, most often than not, they don’t want to add anymore friction or drama to the already stressed family dynamic. If this is why they didn’t tell you, its their way of “protecting” you.

But no matter what they case be, they need to feel like you can be approached and the only way to get this through to them is to become approachable. Sounds logical doesn’t it? Sometimes its not so easy. This has to first start by you telling them that you are. An example: “Hey guys, I am your mom, (or dad), and I’m here if you need to tell me something. I promise not to raise my voice or get angry and if its something that you feel should be talked about here at home I promise to listen.” Tell them that no matter what, and let me be clear about this, you “will not ground them” IF what they are telling you is something that they feel could be dangerous to them or their brother or sister. There are to be no consequences for telling the truth in this instance so as long as its in advance of a possible "situation." In other words, don't punish them for trying to warn you to something. If its after the fact, then punishment is of course acceptable and all normal rules appy.You should not be feared when it comes to talking about drugs in the home. In fact, I think the best approach is for you to be the know all. Give your kids a reason why they should talk to you about this issue. Some more incentive other than just being a mom or dad is all they might need. Position yourself as the expert in this situation. Do your research so you can give kids healthy answers if they come to you regarding drugs and reward them of they do.

I’m not a parent which is why I think I am put in a very good position to write these blogs FOR parents. I am in a situation where I am detached from parenting instincts and can convey reality without my heart getting in the way in an attempt to see things through rose covered glasses.

So be the person that you wish was in front of you when you were your kids age. Cool?

Super Star

Check out my foundation at www.weareoneonline.org and see how I’m helping kids stay sober.

What do to when you FIRST have the assumption your child might be “using” drugs

Please follow me on http://twitter.com/sobersuperstar to show your support for my 300-mile “Bike ride for Sobriety” challenge coming up on Oct 6th! Also, please pass this on to any parent you think this might help!

What do to when you FIRST have the assumption your child might be “using” drugs

Confront them. If you are suspicious, ask them. Also, keep in mind that their answer may be a straight up lie to get you off their back. You are the parent; you have natural instincts to your child. If your gut tells you something’s “off” or “wrong”, that because it is. However, when confronting him/her, don’t do it in a way that conveys anger. Instead, take the opposite approach. Anger makes kids close up faster than a clam. Love however makes everyone feel comfortable. Even if they chose not to admit it.

The best time to try to get an answer is right away. Don’t wait around. Addiction can happen fast, so the sooner you beat it to its potentially deadly grasp, the better. As soon as you can, sit them down, and ask in a means that is not threatening. You need to assert your-self as the person with the experience, not the person with the whip. You want to steer them in the right direction, not steer them away from you. So just come out an ask. “Hey, I want to talk to you about something that I have a feeing might be going on and if I’m wrong, lets talk about it anyway.” If you start off with this sentence its not threatening. It shows that you care and are aware, plus its one they can’t weasel away from because it allows for the continued conversation after they deny it, which they most often will. Stay ahead of them, because these kids are SMART!

If your child admits they are experimenting then you are ahead of the pact. That’s when its time to hold their hand through getting any help that they need, depending of course on where they are at with their use. However, no matter how far along they are with their “experimentation”, you need to get them in front of people and programs that can show them what can happen when choosing that lifestyle vs. a heather one. That’s why I think getting them in front of people they admire or programs they can get involved in are always the best bet.

If your child denies it, as most will, you need to start gathering evidence without being, to put it frankly, a jerk about it. You don’t want them to become more rebellious at this point nor have them start trying to hide their use harder. Instead, watch them; are they being respectful to your curfew? (All kids should have a curfew). Are they having mood swings? Are they missing school? Also, don’t be afraid to watch their friends behavior, In addition to this, (and I know Ill get some flack for this) but don’t be afraid to check their pockets as your doing their laundry, or check their room while they are out to school. Kids do need you to respect their privacy but they also need you to help guide them towards a bright and healthy future. So follow your gut when walking this fine line and always do so from a distance. You don’t want to ever push your kids away from you or have them think you don’t trust them, which by the way, if they continuously use this this line against you, chances are something is up.

If you do build of a “case” as to their “use” and one that is a solid one then you need to get them help immediately. Take them to a local program within your area. Get them to a young AA or NA meeting. Alert your school counselor; reach out to the so many various agencies that are local to your area that are there to help you. But always show your son and daughter love and respect during this process. It’s as hard on them as it is you. Both of you take a deep breathe and don’t stop until your son/daughter is sober.

Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
www.weareoneonline.org

(Sponser: www.realcollegetour.com)