Another example of how asking for help can actually help!

Hello all, I just thought I’d share another one of my stories to show anyone that will listen, just how powerful drug addiction can be - even if a loved one’s life is at its end.

So here it is-

My grandmother and I were extremely close. All while growing up and into adulthood, she was the only other woman on this planet; other than my girlfriend at the time, whom I adored. Although I was living in Chicago and her NY, we’d keep in constant contact with one another via phone and I’d often take the trip out just to see her and take her grocery shopping. I didn’t mind the drive, after all, it gave me a reason to get out and get high along the way. I must have been 27-ish. I was falling deeper into an addiction and I don’t think I really knew it.

She had become extremely ill and had been in the care of Hospice towards the end of her journey. One morning, I had received a call from her. She was not at all sounding like herself. She told me that today was her day and that she was going to “go”. As much as I did not want to believe her words, I felt she was right. As our brief telephone conversation was nearing an end, her words became less and less coherent. I told her not to “go” anywhere without me there to help see her through it. I hung up and quickly packed. I had to get going. I had to be there for her.

On the way out of Chicago, I was full of emotions. I can recall despair and sadness were all I felt and I sure the hell didn’t want to deal with those emotions. In fact, I don't think I even really knew how. I always needed drugs to help me deal with them and this time was no exception. If I were going to be successful at sitting in my truck for the next 12 to make the trek. I had to stop and get some!

I was quickly able to pick up a bit of heroin at a stop I had often frequented. I would have preferred some crack to help me stay awake for the drive but it was all the dealer had so I took it. The problem though, heroin is a downer. It makes me sleepy. That’s obviously not good for someone who needs to be alert for the next 12 hrs. Nevertheless, it wasn’t enough to stop me from taking a hit of it as soon as I got it. So there I was, not even out of the state of Illinois yet and I was already high. My addiction had me and I was already not caring about getting to my grandmother to say good-bye. Crazy how we become different people as soon as we have our drugs in our system.

I could not believe what I was doing. Picking drugs over doing what I knew was right. I was aware enough to know that this time was different and I had to do something, at least for the time being, so I could get to NY and get there sober. I needed an act of god to help me get to her before she passed away.

So I pulled over to the side of the road, and for the next few minutes - prayed.

I had prayed before for assistance but never like this. Each previous time, praying to what I felt were to deaf ears, but not this time. I sat, focused and really felt I had a line of communication to my higher power. I felt it, heard it, and definitely had it; I must have because for the next 12 hour drive, I was suddenly in control.

I was alone with my own thoughts for the next 12 hours and was able to deal with them without the use of drugs as a coping mechanism. This brief moment of clarity did allow me to eventually make it to NY and make it there sober as well.

My grandmother did end up waiting for me that night and remarkably just as I arrived to hold her hand, decided to let “go.” It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever been apart of and I could not have done it at that moment without sobriety in my life.


If you feel this could help someone, please pass it on!

-Super Star
www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com