Will you ever accept my apology?

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Will you ever accept my apology?

Today, the Rockstar Superstar Project went to a school arts show in Illinois and handed out substance abuse literature. We did this in an attempt to convince as many parents as we could that the conversation of drugs needs to happen at home, and happen frequently. I think overall, we handed out over 200 pamphlets and talked with well over 30 different sets of parents.

This week was an important week for us. Not only because of this event, but also due to the fact that “Serenity,” our physical CD, one that we have aspired to create and release for well over two years, had finally arrived in my hands.

Next week will prove to be an even more exciting week. We will be skyping to three different health classes to talk to kids about the importance of sobriety and self-worth and another article will soon be coming out conveying our story. But for all this beauty that I have found, one important “I accept your apology,” has eluded me.

My long battle with addiction left nothing but disaster, overdoses and heartbreak in my wake. My whirlwind of doom reached far and beyond anything that I could see. I hurt a lot of people. A lot! Some of them have accepted my amends and some have not. The ones that have not, well, I have to accept their decision, despite the hurt and the wish they would. It’s doing this that I, as well as other addicts sometimes have trouble with.

Do you have a person in your world that you had always dreamt of the day would someday accept your apology for something and despite your best efforts to make amends, still hasn’t? That your vision was to show that person your recovery was for real and not just some fly by night manipulative way back in to their good graces? Hurts when they aren’t ready to move beyond their pain doesn’t it?

It’s a tough thing to accept not having control over something to fix what you believe is fixable. To call a friendship a total loss right now when it doesn’t have to be. You have to realize that some things truly are out of your control and that some of those things that you wish could be healed, may take longer than you thought they would. But you cannot use this as an excuse to get you down or even worse, go back out over. You have to find the strength within yourself to stay on your path and to keep doing the right thing. The pain hurts, it’s heartbreaking, but what other option do we have but to move forward? And how do we know your apology won’t be accepted tomorrow?

There is always hope…

One of the most interesting things about the road of recovery is not knowing what lies around the next turn. What is always further down the road is not what you are able to see in front of you now. Those amends may or may not always elude you but one thing is for certain, as long as you are sober, you will never elude yourself from the possibility of that amend. So stay sober, everything that is meant to be, will be and remember, whatever is eluding you today may not be what eludes you tomorrow.

Always love, always encourage, and never let despair get in the way.

About me: I am Super Star (yes, that is my legal name). I have earned that name – and accomplished what many people would consider impossible – because I chose to stay sober one day at a time. I left the crack houses to mingle with Hollywood’s elite, ending up working with all of my childhood musical heroes, and have now found my purpose in life after surviving an almost 15-year battle with the disease of addiction.

Currently, I am an advocate for kids in recovery from substance abuse (and prevention as well) in Malibu, California, as well as from my home in Chicago, a sober companion to many, director of a non-profit that helps those struggling with recovery, and passionate speaker to kids about the issues of drugs and addiction.

I am also an author and musician. I am currently finishing my work on the book, “The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Ultimate Survival Guide to Staying Sober,” which can be pre-ordered here. I have also just wrapped up the recording of Serenity, a first-of-its-kind CD created in conjunction with my twin brother Rock Star solely to combat addiction. “Serenity,” was produced by a Grammy-winning producer and features many of our musical heroes, who have come together to help us tell our story in an effort to help others through their own addiction struggles. Guests on our CD include current and former members of bands such as Kiss, Heart, The Goo Goo Dolls, Dokken, Trans-Siberian Orchestra as well as many more. It rocks – musically and inspirationally – and can be found here

Pass this on if you feel it can help someone and feel free to visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com

Kids and chewing tobacco. Could it be a dangerous precursor to drug use?

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Kids and chewing tobacco. Could it be a dangerous precursor to drug use?

Just like smoking cigarettes, chewing smokeless tobacco can eventually rip apart your body and kill you. It is that simple. Chewing tobacco causes cancer and the last time I checked, cancer was a killer.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 20% of high school boys and 2% of high school girls use smokeless tobacco. Of the 12 to 14 million American users, one third are under age 21, and more than half of those developed the habit before they were 13.

Now the question is, could chewing tobacco ever be a stepping-stone to harder drugs? The answer is YES. If you think I am wrong, then read on.

Peer influence is just one of the reasons for starting the habit but other reasons could and do exist. My proof is myself. As we all know, I suffer from substance use disorder. My addictive behavior almost killed me – that was until I learned how to kill it, or at least keep it in check. Once I learned how to deal in the real world without having to run to something else to use as a coping mechanism I was set free from its bond but make no mistake, I too was allured by chewing tobacco. Disgusting isn’t? This beautiful mouth full of that nasty brown tobacco juice. I cringe thinking that I used to do it.

Its started many many years ago before the drugs and was a way for me to catch a buzz without getting easily caught. It was easy to hide from my mother who wasn’t often home anyway. The fact that my own twin brother didn’t know about it (until he reads this) just astounds me to this day. Quickly, I graduated from brands that delivered less nicotine to the stronger ones. Why? Because I needed a stronger buzz! With each use, I needed a little more of the drug to get the same feeling. Sound familiar?

The feeling wasn’t a good one either. More nauseousness than anything else but I didn’t care because as long as I was worrying about not having to throw up after each dose I wasn’t having to deal with my other issues I had going on at the moment. Sad way to live and thank god it did not turn into a bad habit – BUT, it did lead me to another one. Once that buzz wasn’t enough, I went searching for a new one.

The point is I did it to escape. Some kids in school (and beyond) do it because it makes them look cool or because Dad does it. (Shame on you Dad!). But no matter what the case is, it can kill you and I am living proof it can be a precursor to other drugs. So if you see your kids chewing tobacco, get them help, and not just to stop either. Remember, this may be a first red flag for you to investigate what else might be going on in their lives.

About me: I am Super Star (yes, that is my legal name). I have earned that name – and accomplished what many people would consider impossible – because I chose to stay sober one day at a time. I left the crack houses to mingle with Hollywood’s elite, ending up working with all of my childhood musical heroes, and have now found my purpose in life after surviving an almost 15-year battle with the disease of addiction.

Currently, I am an advocate for kids in recovery from substance abuse (and prevention as well) in Malibu, California, as well as from my home in Chicago, a sober companion to many, director of a non-profit that helps those struggling with recovery, and passionate speaker to kids about the issues of drugs and addiction.

I am also an author and musician. I am currently finishing my work on the book, “The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Ultimate Survival Guide to Staying Sober,” which can be pre-ordered here. I have also just wrapped up the recording of Serenity, a first-of-its-kind CD created in conjunction with my twin brother Rock Star solely to combat addiction. “Serenity,” was produced by a Grammy-winning producer and features many of our musical heroes, who have come together to help us tell our story in an effort to help others through their own addiction struggles. Guests on our CD include current and former members of bands such as Kiss, Heart, The Goo Goo Dolls, Dokken, Trans-Siberian Orchestra as well as many more. It rocks – musically and inspirationally – and can be found here

Pass this on if you feel it can help someone and feel free to visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com

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Who are drug addicts hurting? (The story of Doro and Zena)

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Who are drug addicts hurting? (The story of Doro and Zena)

Drug abuse blogs often speak of how drug addicts are hurting themselves. How drug addicts are playing Russian roulette with every “hit” and of the consequences surrounding their use. But this time I want to talk about the whirlwind of devastation that drug abuse can have upon others and how it’s not always obvious just how far the whirlwind of doom reaches. Let’s use my story as an example.

My girlfriend and I have two dogs named Zena and Doro. They were an inseparable pair and together 24/7 since the day they met. Best friends would be an understatement regarding their relationship to one another. There was a bond between them that was like none I have ever seen. That was until I let my drug use separate them.

I few years ago I was on the tail end of my 15 year addiction to crack cocaine. What I didn’t know however was that I was just 2 years from hitting full blown recovery. But not yet, I didn’t want it bad enough. Like many addicts, I wasn’t quite ready to give up my drug of choice for anything or anyone, and I would soon find, not even for my dog. But I was ready to give this thing called “sobriety” a try, or 2, or 20 tries until I would someday get it right. So in an effort to get some much needed help outside of my home, I moved to California where my twin brother Rock Star and his then girlfriend would be able to send me to rehab.

I packed up my things and high-tailed it out to the west coast thinking that the geographical change and the support from my brother would be the answer I was looking for. I would soon find that it wasn’t. Alongside me, my dog Doro would come with. I just couldn’t be without her. She had to help me through this.

Moving to California would eventually spark a career in music, speaking, and writing for me but before all my dreams were to blossom, I had to get clean. Soon after arriving in Malibu, California with Doro in tow, I would soon throw out the idea of staying clean. The drugs were even easier for me to get than back home and cheaper too. I quickly wound up in and out of LA’s dirtiest crack houses and started to my zombie like hunt for more drugs. There was no stopping me.

That’s when I started neglecting the basic necessities that Doro needed. Water was the only thing I was often able to provide for her. The money I did have to feed her went towards feeding my habit instead. I don’t know why I wanted her to go with me. I couldn’t even take care of myself. I was at a point where I was so taken by my disease that I wouldn’t even take the time to walk her outside to go to the bathroom. At this point I started to allow my dealers to do her walking, completely jeopardizing her life all in order for me to “stay high.” I was sick and because of my behavior, my dog also started to become ill.

To make a long story short, after 20 or 30 relapses and a stint in rehab, I had enough of the drugs. I was going to get clean and stay that way. Of course getting and staying sober should be first and foremost for oneself, but I never stopped thinking about what I had done to my dog Doro. How I had deserted her and how I selfishly took her from her best friend Zena. I had to stay clean this time, I had to reunite them.

Approximately for two years, I worked and worked at my recovery, never wavering from doing what I know I had to do. Doro never gave up on me, and I was not going to give up on reuniting her with her best friend Zena.

One of the gifts of sobriety is to become strong enough to make things right. My sobriety has been earned, moment to moment, and perhaps has been my greatest adventure. Doro and I moved back to Chicago and I made things right. She is here with me, and has just been fed, laying next to me, and is waiting to go to the park a little later to run in the fields with her best friend Zena. No longer does she have to wonder if I would be coming home to feed or walk her. She’s happy now and so am I. But if you are an addict and you are reading this, please consider those suffering around you. Some of them do not have a voice, their pain cannot often be seen, but they do feel something and it hurts them. Its time to get sober and stop the hurting, for everyone involved.

Here is a video of Doro and Zena, I hope it moves you just as it had moved me making it for you.

About me: I am Super Star (yes, that is my legal name). I have earned that name – and accomplished what many people would consider impossible – because I chose to stay sober one day at a time. I left the crack houses to mingle with Hollywood’s elite, ending up working with all of my childhood musical heroes, and have now found my purpose in life after surviving an almost 15-year battle with the disease of addiction.

Currently, I am an advocate for kids in recovery from substance abuse (and prevention as well) in Malibu, California, as well as from my home in Chicago, a sober companion to many, director of a non-profit that helps those struggling with recovery, and passionate speaker to kids about the issues of drugs and addiction.

I am also a musician who has just wrapped up the recording of Serenity, a first-of-its-kind CD created in conjunction with my twin brother Rock Star solely to combat addiction. It was produced by a Grammy-winning producer and features many of our musical heroes, who have come together to help us tell our story in an effort to help others through their own addiction struggles. Guests on our CD include current and former members of bands such as Kiss, Heart, The Goo Goo Dolls, Dokken, Trans-Siberian Orchestra as well as many more. It rocks – musically and inspirationally – and can be found here

Pass this on if you feel it can help someone and feel free to visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com

Lack of self-esteem plays a big role in teen drug abuse

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Building self-esteem starts at home.

Based on SAMHSA's 2007 National Survey on Drug Use & Health, 7.8% (19.3 million) persons aged 12 or older needed treatment for their alcohol problem in the past year. Do you know that for many of those that needed help, the reason for their drinking started due to their lack of self-esteem? That’s right. Teenagers who lack self-confidence are 70% more likely to abuse drugs vs. teenagers who are happy with how they feel about themselves.

As parents, you can do many things to enhance your children’s self-image. Here are 5 pointers that I know would have helped me growing up:

1. Offer praise for any job well done. This can go a long way. Despite how it may seem, kids are always trying to impress their parents and for them to know they did, goes a long way!

2. If you need to criticize your child, talk about the action, not the person. If your daughter gets a math equation wrong, it’s better to say, “I think you added wrong. Let’s try again.” - Than to say something that may sound demeaning to them.

3. Assign do-able chores. A 6-year-old for instance can bring her plate over to the sink after dinner. A 13-year-old can have a much larger responsibility such as feeding and walking the dog after school. Performing such duties and praising your child if done correctly makes them feel better about themselves because they did the jobs themselves.

4. Spend one-on-one time with your teenager. Setting aside at least 15 uninterrupted minutes per child per day to talk, play a game, or take a walk together, let’s your teen know you care. 15 minutes a day can keep the drugs away!

5. Say, “I love you.” Nothing will make your child feel better than these 3 words!

Information and lessons like this concerning drugs are important to repeat and revisit frequently with your teenager. I am not a parent but I was the child who would eventually turn to drugs due to lack of self-esteem. So please let my lesson be yours.

Don’t forget about our book, The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Ultimate Survival Guide to Staying Sober and “Serenity” CD by Rock Star and Super Star. They both come with accolades from drug counselors and experts in the field of addiction. Both are recommended tools in fighting teenage and adult drug abuse. Order our very special Recovery Pack HERE

About me: I am Super Star (yes, that is my legal name). I have earned that name – and accomplished what many people would consider impossible – because I chose to stay sober one day at a time. I left the crack houses to mingle with Hollywood’s elite, ending up working with all of my childhood musical heroes, and have now found my purpose in life after surviving an almost 15-year battle with the disease of addiction.

Currently, I am an advocate for kids in recovery from substance abuse (and prevention as well) in Malibu, California, as well as from my home in Chicago, a sober companion to many, director of a non-profit that helps those struggling with recovery, and passionate speaker to kids about the issues of drugs and addiction.

I am also a musician who has just wrapped up the recording of Serenity, a first-of-its-kind CD created in conjunction with my twin brother Rock Star solely to combat addiction. It was produced by a Grammy-winning producer and features many of our musical heroes, who have come together to help us tell our story in an effort to help others through their own addiction struggles. Guests on our CD include current and former members of bands such as Kiss, Heart, The Goo Goo Dolls, Dokken, Trans-Siberian Orchestra as well as many more. It rocks – musically and inspirationally – and can be found here

Pass this on if you feel it can help someone and feel free to visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com

Teenager addicted to Heroin? “Sorry, we don’t cover that.”

Be sure to visit our other Teen Drug Abuse Articles below!

Teenager addicted to Heroin? “Sorry, we don’t cover that.”

I just came from a rehab faculty where I dropped off a Teenager who was addicted to heroin. On the way there, the teenagers parents wanted to know how much their teenage son was to be covered during his stay in treatment. So on their behalf, I took the initiative and made a series of calls to the teenagers insurance provider. I figured it’s the least I can do for them as they clearly have been through a lot lately with this kid.

The parents, having always been under the assumption that they had “premier” coverage, thought that this 30 day visit would be, for the most part, covered. After all, their monthly statement touts coverage of up to 75% for addiction treatment issues!

But they weren’t.

“Just what is it the boy is addicted to?” asks the operator? “Heroin,” I exclaimed.

Then the silence.

….

……

…….

“Oh, I am sorry sir, we only cover alcohol addiction”.

It should be obvious to all of us why this is so wrong on every level. Alcohol covered but not drugs? Wait, isn’t alcohol a drug?

I’m not here to talk about why this is wrong, just here to help you know that this issue exists. Read the details of your coverage Mom’s and Dad’s. Teenage drug abuse is on the rise so talk to you kids about the dangers of drugs at home, and often, so you can avoid having to go through with what these poor parents are now having to deal with.

Thank you for reading my Teenage Drug Abuse blog!

-Super Star

Please visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com and if you feel this can help someone you know, please pass it on!

Tagged as: Teen Drug Abuse, teen substance abuse, Teenage drug abuse

I am having a craving for drugs, what do I do?

I am having a craving for drugs, what do I do?

Its often I have cravings for drugs and/or alcohol. Heck, even with all this time sober, my disease still haunts me. It’s waiting for the moment that I turn to it and ask it for help again like I used to before I learned how to help myself. Help to take away my pain, my sorrow. The mornings dread that I face at the beginning of each new day while taking a shower. It would be so easy for me to succumb to its relentless pleading. But I can’t. In fact, it’s not even an option for me anymore. Drugs and alcohol are just no longer an option because I know what they want, my soul; and as long as I am alive, I am not going to give it to them.

Life is hard. My parents used to tell me that all the time but they never mentioned if there was anything beyond that. Well there is and it’s called having to stay sober when you finally decide that you want to. Having to fight the cravings that we drug addicts face is like no other. Those brutally hard moments that I cannot compare to anything. They are like a weight on my thoughts, but heavier. Or like a push in the wrong direction from a force that is invisible but with a clear and shadowy evil grin. Cravings are brutal alright, that’s why many of us fail to survive them. But there is a way to get past them and it took me 15 years to figure many of those ways out. In fact I am having a craving right at this very moment but I know in the next, I would have already forgotten that I was having it.

There are a ton of tools that we can use to fend off the advances of our disease. A lot of them can be found in our forthcoming book: The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Ultimate Survival Guide to Staying Sober. I mention the book not as a selfish plug but for you to consider if you are still struggling with the disease of addiction or if you are the friend or family member trying to help someone like me. Someone who is always having to fight to stay free from its grip. The tools are my necessity for survival and they are all out there for you to have for your toolbox as well.

Remember that craving I was just having? It’s gone. Why? Because I just told someone. I told you. That’s all I had to do. In the time it took me to write those last two paragraphs (about 10 minutes), I have killed off the craving simply by sharing my desire for drugs with someone. Sounds easy but in reality, its hard for some. Especially for the newcomer. Opening yourself up enough to show someone you’re vulnerable and human is something that eludes most people but you cannot let this elude you. Here are 3 reasons why telling on yourself works.

1. Telling someone makes it harder to go out and get your fix. If you’re having a craving, tell someone. Depending on the situation, all eyes might now be on you now. We can’t depend on others to baby-sit us but if you are in that type of situation early in recovery, you sure better take the babysitter! If I wanted to go out and buy some dope right now I couldn’t because whomever I just told would think I am leaving to go score it. Telling someone who now knows that I want it makes it that much harder to go out and get it. Time and time again it’s been enough for me to buckle down and stay safe inside.

2. Telling someone immediately holds you accountable. I’ve told the world that I have a substance use disorder. Now guess what would happen if I screw up? Exactly! All that I have built comes tumbling down. I don’t suggest you start telling everyone that you know though. In fact, I would pick and choose wisely with whom you share your secrets with. Most people are not as they appear, love to pass along the newfound drama and professionally, it can hurt you. However, telling people who are close to you and you trust, might just make you choose sobriety over having to utter the words “I’m sorry,” after yet another relapse, ever again. Having to say I am sorry sucks and gets worse every freaking time.

3. Telling someone kills time. Did you know that most cravings leave in a matter of 5 minutes or less? Yup, they sure do. In fact, the tick-tock of the clock is our biggest asset. In the time that you took to muster up the courage to tell someone that you are experiencing a craving, that very craving will most likely be gone. It’ll be back though, and next time you might need another tool to pull from your toolbox.

There are plenty more reasons’ why telling someone close to you that you are having cravings helps take you beyond them but these are the three that came the quickest to me today. They might be obvious to some but to us others who are caught up in that moment of our disease, they are not. Learning to tell someone of your craving as its happening takes practice and courage. It’s extremely hard but it has gotten easier for me with time and it will for you also.

Thank you for reading my Teenage Drug Abuse blog!

-Super Star

Please visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com and if you feel this can help someone you know, please pass it on!

Teenage Drug abuse - Once an addict, always an addict?

Once an addict, always an addict?

I prefer to be identified as having a “Substance Use Disorder ,” but to each their own I suppose!

I saw someone posted this on my Facebook account yesterday.

Well I am SO NOT perfect but I understand and if I could help someone– maybe they could help me. Trust me dude– once an addict– ALWAYS an addict. And we in our souls KNOW we are not perfect no matter HOW good any one else thinks we are doing…

This last sentence was brutally honest and important.

Sometimes we addicts in recovery are in fact doing quite well and we have found our way to peace. However, sometimes we have not. If we have not yet found that peace that has been long so elusive to us, we must not despair. It will come!

If you are reading this and are the loved one of an addict, just so you know, it would pain us to have you think otherwise of us in the meantime. After all, we are tired of being known as “the addict.” Having you think we might be slipping in any areas of our recovery means us having to be identified by those words even longer. Yuck! You see, we hate disappointing the ones we love often more than we hate disappointing ourselves. “Once an addict always an addict,” is only half the truth. Yes we are addicts, but this should not define us entirely. What about handsome or charming? Did you forget about those words? At the very least, most of us prefer to be seen as an “addict in recovery.” Or as having a “Substance Use Disorder,” Just so you know! And although most of us know that in order for our recovery to last, it must be for ourselves first foremost; we often try and try again as a means to not let those who love us, down again and again. Eventually we learn that the key to having recovery for ourselves is to make that recovery for ourselves only.

Let’s expand just a little deeper on what it’s like to be an addict. Most of us addicts have very similar traits you know. A lot of us are of the sensitive type. We wear our hearts on our sleeves. How many times have you heard someone else talk about someone that they know who is abusing drugs? Often the conversation is about how truly wonderful they are as a person while not using. Also, and unbelievably to some, a lot of us hold above average IQ’s. Yup, those metrics have been gathered long ago and have been proven time and time again. We also have a tendency to be extremely creative. We have no problems tapping in to our creative sense and often times; others see our work as brilliant. Case in point, look back at all the music and traditional artists, actors, etc, that have been known to struggle with the disease of addiction. Their works have often been the most memorable.

BUT………

As noted in the Facebook comment above, most of us are indeed always struggling. Doing well at times yes, but fighting our “stinking thinking’” – almost always. Recovery is a constant battle. Until we are able to find peace, we are always in the midst of trying to hold onto it. If it’s not struggling with drugs, it’s struggling with our eating habits. If it is not our eating habits, it’s struggling with our OCD. If it’s not our OCD than it’s our lying. If it not our lying, it is our hoarding, and so on and so on. But you know what’s great about this entire struggle? What’s great about it is that we are working at it. Becoming stronger. We are ever evolving and always maturing. The great thing about being an addict in recovery is that we know this and have become strong enough to continue improving ourselves, shedding the undesired behaviors, and becoming some of the most truly remarkable people in our communities. So if you are an addict in recovery, be proud, you’re beautiful and remarkable! Carry the torch and when you’re ready, strong enough, and when you finally “get it’” please pass it on to someone behind you! That’s more than what most of the world’s population is ever willing to do.

So “Once an addict, always an addict? I prefer to be identified as having a
“Substance Use Disorder,” but to each their own I suppose!

-Super Star

www.superstarsuperstar.com

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Teenage Drug Abuse, how to tell when someone is using.