Will you ever accept my apology?

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Will you ever accept my apology?

Today, the Rockstar Superstar Project went to a school arts show in Illinois and handed out substance abuse literature. We did this in an attempt to convince as many parents as we could that the conversation of drugs needs to happen at home, and happen frequently. I think overall, we handed out over 200 pamphlets and talked with well over 30 different sets of parents.

This week was an important week for us. Not only because of this event, but also due to the fact that “Serenity,” our physical CD, one that we have aspired to create and release for well over two years, had finally arrived in my hands.

Next week will prove to be an even more exciting week. We will be skyping to three different health classes to talk to kids about the importance of sobriety and self-worth and another article will soon be coming out conveying our story. But for all this beauty that I have found, one important “I accept your apology,” has eluded me.

My long battle with addiction left nothing but disaster, overdoses and heartbreak in my wake. My whirlwind of doom reached far and beyond anything that I could see. I hurt a lot of people. A lot! Some of them have accepted my amends and some have not. The ones that have not, well, I have to accept their decision, despite the hurt and the wish they would. It’s doing this that I, as well as other addicts sometimes have trouble with.

Do you have a person in your world that you had always dreamt of the day would someday accept your apology for something and despite your best efforts to make amends, still hasn’t? That your vision was to show that person your recovery was for real and not just some fly by night manipulative way back in to their good graces? Hurts when they aren’t ready to move beyond their pain doesn’t it?

It’s a tough thing to accept not having control over something to fix what you believe is fixable. To call a friendship a total loss right now when it doesn’t have to be. You have to realize that some things truly are out of your control and that some of those things that you wish could be healed, may take longer than you thought they would. But you cannot use this as an excuse to get you down or even worse, go back out over. You have to find the strength within yourself to stay on your path and to keep doing the right thing. The pain hurts, it’s heartbreaking, but what other option do we have but to move forward? And how do we know your apology won’t be accepted tomorrow?

There is always hope…

One of the most interesting things about the road of recovery is not knowing what lies around the next turn. What is always further down the road is not what you are able to see in front of you now. Those amends may or may not always elude you but one thing is for certain, as long as you are sober, you will never elude yourself from the possibility of that amend. So stay sober, everything that is meant to be, will be and remember, whatever is eluding you today may not be what eludes you tomorrow.

Always love, always encourage, and never let despair get in the way.

About me: I am Super Star (yes, that is my legal name). I have earned that name – and accomplished what many people would consider impossible – because I chose to stay sober one day at a time. I left the crack houses to mingle with Hollywood’s elite, ending up working with all of my childhood musical heroes, and have now found my purpose in life after surviving an almost 15-year battle with the disease of addiction.

Currently, I am an advocate for kids in recovery from substance abuse (and prevention as well) in Malibu, California, as well as from my home in Chicago, a sober companion to many, director of a non-profit that helps those struggling with recovery, and passionate speaker to kids about the issues of drugs and addiction.

I am also an author and musician. I am currently finishing my work on the book, “The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Ultimate Survival Guide to Staying Sober,” which can be pre-ordered here. I have also just wrapped up the recording of Serenity, a first-of-its-kind CD created in conjunction with my twin brother Rock Star solely to combat addiction. “Serenity,” was produced by a Grammy-winning producer and features many of our musical heroes, who have come together to help us tell our story in an effort to help others through their own addiction struggles. Guests on our CD include current and former members of bands such as Kiss, Heart, The Goo Goo Dolls, Dokken, Trans-Siberian Orchestra as well as many more. It rocks – musically and inspirationally – and can be found here

Pass this on if you feel it can help someone and feel free to visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com