An open letter to my addiction

An open letter to my addiction

I know my addiction wants me dead. That’s what my addiction whispers to me every day. “I want you dead Super Star. I want to put you so far under so I can have another glorious death under my belt. “

Hate’s a strong word but I can comfortably say that I HATE my addiction. I HATE IT!

I am supposed to be working on my book tonight but can’t. I just cannot seem to break free from my thoughts of disgust for my disease of addiction. Just the utter thought of knowing I have it makes me cringe. I know it wants me dead. It doesn’t want me to see life beyond it.

So I am writing it a letter. I have to let it know how I am feeling at this very moment.

Dear Addiction,

I know you hate me. I know you want me to fail at everything I have to offer in life. Fail at everything I try and do. Create havoc everywhere I go. To stop loving and to start hating everyone in my life. But I cannot let this relationship continue. You’re selfish and it’s been completely all about you from day 1.

You must understand my perspective. I love life. I enjoy happiness. I enjoy knowing who I am and have finally become comfortable in my own skin. To look in the mirror and see all my beauty is a gift. Why would you want to take this from me? I don’t think I’ll ever understand.

Truth be known I’ve been disappointed in you for quite some time. What started out as fun ended up becoming a nightmare. I believed you when you told me that you would take care of me. I didn’t believe anyone that told me otherwise. Now I know all of your promise of ecstasy was an outright lie.

You are a murderer. A whirlwind of doom that wants me dead. I can see this now. How could I have been so naive to think otherwise. UGH!

I know you will be stalking me. Watching every move I make for the rest of my life but I won’t be paying you any more attention. So beat it!

So this is our good-bye. I am sorry but it has to be this way.

I will not accept anymore of your advances or calls. You are pathetic and this whole relationship between us was a waste. It was all about you all the time. Well not anymore. It’s become about me now, my family, my friends. You are now a thing of my past.

-Super Star

P.S You were never good anyway

I recall while in rehab, the counselors would tell me to write about my addiction. They said it would help me deal with understanding why I had it in the first place and develop the strength to eventually overcome it. I fought this for a long time. I didn’t want to write. Well turns out the counselors were right. It has helped me tremendously and I promise you that it will help you also. Try it out!

As for my addiction, I’ll hear from it again but I will never respond. That’s my promise to myself. I have better things to do now with my life, like finish this book!

Got a question for me? Enter your email on the right side of this page.

About me: I am Super Star (yes, that is my legal name). I have earned that name – and accomplished what many people would consider impossible – because I chose to stay sober one day at a time. I left the crack houses to mingle with Hollywood’s elite, ending up working with all of my childhood musical heroes, and have now found my purpose in life after surviving an almost 15-year battle with the disease of addiction.

Currently, I am an advocate for kids in recovery from substance abuse (and prevention as well) in Malibu, California, as well as from my home in Chicago, a sober companion to many, director of a non-profit that helps those struggling with recovery, and passionate speaker to kids about the issues of drugs and addiction.

I am also an author and musician. I am currently finishing my work on the book, “The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Ultimate Survival Guide to Staying Sober,” which can be pre-ordered here. I have also just wrapped up the recording of Serenity, a first-of-its-kind CD created in conjunction with my twin brother Rock Star solely to combat addiction. “Serenity,” was produced by a Grammy-winning producer and features many of our musical heroes, who have come together to help us tell our story in an effort to help others through their own addiction struggles. Guests on our CD include current and former members of bands such as Kiss, Heart, The Goo Goo Dolls, Dokken, Trans-Siberian Orchestra as well as many more. It rocks – musically and inspirationally – and can be found here

Pass this on if you feel it can help someone and feel free to visit us at www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com