Thanks to the generosity of Mr. Chris Caffery, the guitarist for TSO, I was able to bring along a lucky few to share the experience of this concert with me, sober.. Set up with tickets and passes, my dutie was to spread the cheer of sobriety to as many young concertgoers as I could and I did just that. Thanks Caffery….
Rock concerts are full of people drinking and smoking things that are inappropriate. This sucks because the kids that are watching these adults only see them as having a good time, at that concert. That’s because for the most part, kids only see the moment they are in. They aren’t forward thinkers and are not able to see the consequences that are set in motion for some of these individuals. They aren’t thinking about the drunk who’s about the leave the arena, get in his car, and kill a family of four because he was behind the wheel drunk. Nor are they aware of those who are not in control of their drink or drug and are about to go elsewhere to get a fix, (just one more right?), and later die of a drug overdose.
Kids should go to concerts. After all, I was at my first Kiss concert by the age of 10. But I was lucky. My father and stepmother, whom had taken Rock Star and I, were in control at all times and if they caught my stare at something inappropriate, you better be sure we would have talked about it and they would have tried to explain it right then and there, despite how loud the music was. At that age, I was still innocent and not yet aware of what I was later to succumb to but that’s not the case for many. Think I am kidding. Here is a link to an article about a 7 year old that is now swearing off the booze. http://celebrifi.com/gossip/7yearold-binge-drinker-vows-to-stay-sober-1005380.html
If it is a concert, a playground, or a trip to the grocery store, try your best to always be observant to your surroundings. If your son or daughter looks like they are pondering or curious about drinking or drugs, for whatever the reason, talk to them right then and there. Share in that “moment” with them because if you do it later, it might be too late
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
teenage drug abuse
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Success and Sobriety
Success and Sobriety
I don’t know. The more I get involved with this subject of sobriety on a daily basis, the more I see that there needs to be change in the movement and teachings of sobriety. Or at least more alternatives concerning support for us addicts and the means of convincing us as to the importance of staying sober. (Yes, when we are deep in our addiction, we sometimes cannot even see this). And with this, I mean not just for the child, but for the adult addict as well.
I have been so busy lately with work (We Are One, www.weareoneonlin.org) and through that work have developed some very cool new ways to “think” about why someone should stay sober. By this I mean, the thoughts that could be applied as a tool to convincing an addict to finally staying sober…
Looking back on my own personal struggle has led me to find the answer to this issue. This answer can be summed up into one word. “Success.”
In hindsight, it has been this reason alone that has convinced me to stay sober myself. To be successful or to want to become successful in my own right was of enough motivation for me to want to stay sober or at least try it!!! I wonder how many people have used this successfully to find their own success in sobriety. If you have, let me know. I’d love to hear your story.
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
I don’t know. The more I get involved with this subject of sobriety on a daily basis, the more I see that there needs to be change in the movement and teachings of sobriety. Or at least more alternatives concerning support for us addicts and the means of convincing us as to the importance of staying sober. (Yes, when we are deep in our addiction, we sometimes cannot even see this). And with this, I mean not just for the child, but for the adult addict as well.
I have been so busy lately with work (We Are One, www.weareoneonlin.org) and through that work have developed some very cool new ways to “think” about why someone should stay sober. By this I mean, the thoughts that could be applied as a tool to convincing an addict to finally staying sober…
Looking back on my own personal struggle has led me to find the answer to this issue. This answer can be summed up into one word. “Success.”
In hindsight, it has been this reason alone that has convinced me to stay sober myself. To be successful or to want to become successful in my own right was of enough motivation for me to want to stay sober or at least try it!!! I wonder how many people have used this successfully to find their own success in sobriety. If you have, let me know. I’d love to hear your story.
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
Monday, November 16, 2009
Concerned about my sister's boyfriend's son. Please help.
Question: He's 19, and has a drug problem. He's been in rehab. He was clean for four months and is using again. Any recommendations?
One of many possible answers:
Dear “Concerned”
Having to deal with the consequences that are associated with ones actions when out getting high I know are one of the things that can assist in guiding someone towards the road to recovery. This is one of the things I hear most from kids that have helped set them straight, oh and by the way, helped me get straight as well. If your sisters BF can make the consequences unbearable, and embarrassingly so, without them being demoralizing, then more often times then not, kids will try to step up in an effort to shed this association. The last thing they want is to be seen as a "loser" to their friends and peers. They often only care about how their friends view them anyway. So use this to your advantage.
Again, it has to be done in a way that isn’t demoralizing. I can't stress this enough. Tricky I know. You certainly don’t him to build any resentments as this is often used by so many addicts as a reason to go back out and get high. So make sure he does not use and angry or hostile approach. Instead, have him try using one that maintains his boundaries as a dad, expresses his love and concern, and offers his son a glimpse of hope to what the future brings if he maintains a path of sobriety. It's great to show kids that staying sober can be associated with their own future success so if your boyfriends sister can start having him make this connection as opposed to the one that’s traditionally used, a negative one, then I think his son may be more apt to make the change now.
Please keep me posted to your sister’s boyfriend’s sons’ progress! Remember, there is no fail proof answer for this, if this does not work, will have to keep trying.
Have a question? Email us at info@weareoneonline.org.
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
One of many possible answers:
Dear “Concerned”
Having to deal with the consequences that are associated with ones actions when out getting high I know are one of the things that can assist in guiding someone towards the road to recovery. This is one of the things I hear most from kids that have helped set them straight, oh and by the way, helped me get straight as well. If your sisters BF can make the consequences unbearable, and embarrassingly so, without them being demoralizing, then more often times then not, kids will try to step up in an effort to shed this association. The last thing they want is to be seen as a "loser" to their friends and peers. They often only care about how their friends view them anyway. So use this to your advantage.
Again, it has to be done in a way that isn’t demoralizing. I can't stress this enough. Tricky I know. You certainly don’t him to build any resentments as this is often used by so many addicts as a reason to go back out and get high. So make sure he does not use and angry or hostile approach. Instead, have him try using one that maintains his boundaries as a dad, expresses his love and concern, and offers his son a glimpse of hope to what the future brings if he maintains a path of sobriety. It's great to show kids that staying sober can be associated with their own future success so if your boyfriends sister can start having him make this connection as opposed to the one that’s traditionally used, a negative one, then I think his son may be more apt to make the change now.
Please keep me posted to your sister’s boyfriend’s sons’ progress! Remember, there is no fail proof answer for this, if this does not work, will have to keep trying.
Have a question? Email us at info@weareoneonline.org.
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
Friday, October 30, 2009
What do drugs look like mommy?
What do drugs look like mommy?
If you feel this can help someone, please pass it on!
I’ve got a good story. A five year-old son heard his mommy on the phone the other day talking about a meeting. The meeting in question was an AA meeting. He said, "ANOTHER meeeeeeeeting mommy?" “Yup”, said the mommy. She then, just as many times before, reminded him about drugs. She then says “I go so mommy don't get sick again.” And the son was fine with this.
Then he asked, "What do drugs look like mommy?"
She said, "Some look like regular medicine. Some look like cigarettes. Some look like candy. Some look like food. So don't ever take anything, even if it looks yummy, from someone you don't know and trust."
Perfect answer MOMMY!!!!
Super Star
Crusader for Sobriety
www.weareoneonline.org
If you feel this can help someone, please pass it on!
I’ve got a good story. A five year-old son heard his mommy on the phone the other day talking about a meeting. The meeting in question was an AA meeting. He said, "ANOTHER meeeeeeeeting mommy?" “Yup”, said the mommy. She then, just as many times before, reminded him about drugs. She then says “I go so mommy don't get sick again.” And the son was fine with this.
Then he asked, "What do drugs look like mommy?"
She said, "Some look like regular medicine. Some look like cigarettes. Some look like candy. Some look like food. So don't ever take anything, even if it looks yummy, from someone you don't know and trust."
Perfect answer MOMMY!!!!
Super Star
Crusader for Sobriety
www.weareoneonline.org
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Lead by example
Man have I been busy! UGH! Some BIG BIG things are about to happen and it’s had me side tracked for a few days preparing for all that is to come. But never in my life have I ever been more involved and compelled to help in anyway I can to make a difference in someone’s recovery.
I was in a local shopping center this morning and someone approached me and asked me a question. The question, “Besides peer pressure, what would you say is another contributing factor to a child’s desire to experiment with drugs/alcohol?
Well there are tons of reasons that contribute to someone’s desire to use drugs. Of course most of the time, they are used a as coping mechanism. I would say this is the most common reason for a child, or even an adult to pick up. However, kids often times pick up bad habits from watching the very same people that are telling them “not to”. Their own parents
Your addictive behavior puts your child at risk. In fact, parental behavior is the top influence on a child's later behavior. The link between parental addictive behavior and risk to their children of developing addictive behaviors is well established. Rather than telling your child to “do as I say, not as I do,” which is ineffective, practice moderation in your own life. You will increase the chances that your child will do the same.
So lead by example. Be watchful of your own behaviors. Even the most subtle of them are instilling the ideas in your kids minds, if your doing it, then they can too.
Until next time
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
I was in a local shopping center this morning and someone approached me and asked me a question. The question, “Besides peer pressure, what would you say is another contributing factor to a child’s desire to experiment with drugs/alcohol?
Well there are tons of reasons that contribute to someone’s desire to use drugs. Of course most of the time, they are used a as coping mechanism. I would say this is the most common reason for a child, or even an adult to pick up. However, kids often times pick up bad habits from watching the very same people that are telling them “not to”. Their own parents
Your addictive behavior puts your child at risk. In fact, parental behavior is the top influence on a child's later behavior. The link between parental addictive behavior and risk to their children of developing addictive behaviors is well established. Rather than telling your child to “do as I say, not as I do,” which is ineffective, practice moderation in your own life. You will increase the chances that your child will do the same.
So lead by example. Be watchful of your own behaviors. Even the most subtle of them are instilling the ideas in your kids minds, if your doing it, then they can too.
Until next time
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Parent Denial
Being a parent in denial is a major factor in the drug abuse epidemic that is happening with our children. Just two years ago, the National Institute of Drug Abuse reported that half of all high school seniors in America have experimented with illegal drugs, and about three-quarters of them have tried alcohol.
What is “denial?”.
Denial is an unconscious defense mechanism characterized by the refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings. I’m sure parents whom have already faced evidence staring them right in the face know first hand how easy it can be to reject the truth staring right back at them.
But denial can be deadly.
If you’re suspicious that your child might be using, look into the situation. There is nothing to lose and only our children’s lives and futures to gain.
Making Sobriety Cool
www.superstarsuperstar.com
What is “denial?”.
Denial is an unconscious defense mechanism characterized by the refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings. I’m sure parents whom have already faced evidence staring them right in the face know first hand how easy it can be to reject the truth staring right back at them.
But denial can be deadly.
If you’re suspicious that your child might be using, look into the situation. There is nothing to lose and only our children’s lives and futures to gain.
Making Sobriety Cool
www.superstarsuperstar.com
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Are you mad because no one told you about drug use in the home?
Should you be mad at your kids if they knew and didn’t tell you?
I talked to woman the other day who told me all that all her siblings knew that of one of her sons was experimenting with drugs. Because of this she felt violated and was angry because she had been “left in the dark.”.
She didn’t like it when I told her to “Get over it.”.
I wasn’t mean when I said it. Just direct, and quick to change the direction of the conversation, slightly. After telling her to “get over it”, I pointed out to her that it was an opportunity for change. And a very positive one at that. To get a sense of her situation I asked her how she had found out of the drug use, to which her reply was “I overheard my daughter talking about it on the cell with another friend.” I could tell she was upset. She felt her kids didn’t trust her. I told her it was either that or they were just afraid of her. But there could be a couple other reasons, to which I will get to in a bit. What I wanted to let her know was at that moment, not one but two opportunities revealed themselves and that she should be grateful they did. The alternative could be much worse. The first thing that was revealed was being made aware as to the drug use itself and to seek appropriate help. Thank god this happened. Two being, its time to position yourself once again as the “go to” person regarding any type of concern within your family. After all, this is the way it should be. You’re the Mom for goodness sakes. Your kids should feel that they can approach you with anything, especially things like this.
I know kids often feel like that don’t want to rat on their brothers or sisters. What’s also important to understand and actually appreciate is that kids don’t like to let their parents down. Alternatively, depending on what’s going on at home, most often than not, they don’t want to add anymore friction or drama to the already stressed family dynamic. If this is why they didn’t tell you, its their way of “protecting” you.
But no matter what they case be, they need to feel like you can be approached and the only way to get this through to them is to become approachable. Sounds logical doesn’t it? Sometimes its not so easy. This has to first start by you telling them that you are. An example: “Hey guys, I am your mom, (or dad), and I’m here if you need to tell me something. I promise not to raise my voice or get angry and if its something that you feel should be talked about here at home I promise to listen.” Tell them that no matter what, and let me be clear about this, you “will not ground them” IF what they are telling you is something that they feel could be dangerous to them or their brother or sister. There are to be no consequences for telling the truth in this instance so as long as its in advance of a possible "situation." In other words, don't punish them for trying to warn you to something. If its after the fact, then punishment is of course acceptable and all normal rules appy.You should not be feared when it comes to talking about drugs in the home. In fact, I think the best approach is for you to be the know all. Give your kids a reason why they should talk to you about this issue. Some more incentive other than just being a mom or dad is all they might need. Position yourself as the expert in this situation. Do your research so you can give kids healthy answers if they come to you regarding drugs and reward them of they do.
I’m not a parent which is why I think I am put in a very good position to write these blogs FOR parents. I am in a situation where I am detached from parenting instincts and can convey reality without my heart getting in the way in an attempt to see things through rose covered glasses.
So be the person that you wish was in front of you when you were your kids age. Cool?
Super Star
Check out my foundation at www.weareoneonline.org and see how I’m helping kids stay sober.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
What do to when you FIRST have the assumption your child might be “using” drugs
Please follow me on http://twitter.com/sobersuperstar to show your support for my 300-mile “Bike ride for Sobriety” challenge coming up on Oct 6th! Also, please pass this on to any parent you think this might help!
What do to when you FIRST have the assumption your child might be “using” drugs
Confront them. If you are suspicious, ask them. Also, keep in mind that their answer may be a straight up lie to get you off their back. You are the parent; you have natural instincts to your child. If your gut tells you something’s “off” or “wrong”, that because it is. However, when confronting him/her, don’t do it in a way that conveys anger. Instead, take the opposite approach. Anger makes kids close up faster than a clam. Love however makes everyone feel comfortable. Even if they chose not to admit it.
The best time to try to get an answer is right away. Don’t wait around. Addiction can happen fast, so the sooner you beat it to its potentially deadly grasp, the better. As soon as you can, sit them down, and ask in a means that is not threatening. You need to assert your-self as the person with the experience, not the person with the whip. You want to steer them in the right direction, not steer them away from you. So just come out an ask. “Hey, I want to talk to you about something that I have a feeing might be going on and if I’m wrong, lets talk about it anyway.” If you start off with this sentence its not threatening. It shows that you care and are aware, plus its one they can’t weasel away from because it allows for the continued conversation after they deny it, which they most often will. Stay ahead of them, because these kids are SMART!
If your child admits they are experimenting then you are ahead of the pact. That’s when its time to hold their hand through getting any help that they need, depending of course on where they are at with their use. However, no matter how far along they are with their “experimentation”, you need to get them in front of people and programs that can show them what can happen when choosing that lifestyle vs. a heather one. That’s why I think getting them in front of people they admire or programs they can get involved in are always the best bet.
If your child denies it, as most will, you need to start gathering evidence without being, to put it frankly, a jerk about it. You don’t want them to become more rebellious at this point nor have them start trying to hide their use harder. Instead, watch them; are they being respectful to your curfew? (All kids should have a curfew). Are they having mood swings? Are they missing school? Also, don’t be afraid to watch their friends behavior, In addition to this, (and I know Ill get some flack for this) but don’t be afraid to check their pockets as your doing their laundry, or check their room while they are out to school. Kids do need you to respect their privacy but they also need you to help guide them towards a bright and healthy future. So follow your gut when walking this fine line and always do so from a distance. You don’t want to ever push your kids away from you or have them think you don’t trust them, which by the way, if they continuously use this this line against you, chances are something is up.
If you do build of a “case” as to their “use” and one that is a solid one then you need to get them help immediately. Take them to a local program within your area. Get them to a young AA or NA meeting. Alert your school counselor; reach out to the so many various agencies that are local to your area that are there to help you. But always show your son and daughter love and respect during this process. It’s as hard on them as it is you. Both of you take a deep breathe and don’t stop until your son/daughter is sober.
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
www.weareoneonline.org
(Sponser: www.realcollegetour.com)
What do to when you FIRST have the assumption your child might be “using” drugs
Confront them. If you are suspicious, ask them. Also, keep in mind that their answer may be a straight up lie to get you off their back. You are the parent; you have natural instincts to your child. If your gut tells you something’s “off” or “wrong”, that because it is. However, when confronting him/her, don’t do it in a way that conveys anger. Instead, take the opposite approach. Anger makes kids close up faster than a clam. Love however makes everyone feel comfortable. Even if they chose not to admit it.
The best time to try to get an answer is right away. Don’t wait around. Addiction can happen fast, so the sooner you beat it to its potentially deadly grasp, the better. As soon as you can, sit them down, and ask in a means that is not threatening. You need to assert your-self as the person with the experience, not the person with the whip. You want to steer them in the right direction, not steer them away from you. So just come out an ask. “Hey, I want to talk to you about something that I have a feeing might be going on and if I’m wrong, lets talk about it anyway.” If you start off with this sentence its not threatening. It shows that you care and are aware, plus its one they can’t weasel away from because it allows for the continued conversation after they deny it, which they most often will. Stay ahead of them, because these kids are SMART!
If your child admits they are experimenting then you are ahead of the pact. That’s when its time to hold their hand through getting any help that they need, depending of course on where they are at with their use. However, no matter how far along they are with their “experimentation”, you need to get them in front of people and programs that can show them what can happen when choosing that lifestyle vs. a heather one. That’s why I think getting them in front of people they admire or programs they can get involved in are always the best bet.
If your child denies it, as most will, you need to start gathering evidence without being, to put it frankly, a jerk about it. You don’t want them to become more rebellious at this point nor have them start trying to hide their use harder. Instead, watch them; are they being respectful to your curfew? (All kids should have a curfew). Are they having mood swings? Are they missing school? Also, don’t be afraid to watch their friends behavior, In addition to this, (and I know Ill get some flack for this) but don’t be afraid to check their pockets as your doing their laundry, or check their room while they are out to school. Kids do need you to respect their privacy but they also need you to help guide them towards a bright and healthy future. So follow your gut when walking this fine line and always do so from a distance. You don’t want to ever push your kids away from you or have them think you don’t trust them, which by the way, if they continuously use this this line against you, chances are something is up.
If you do build of a “case” as to their “use” and one that is a solid one then you need to get them help immediately. Take them to a local program within your area. Get them to a young AA or NA meeting. Alert your school counselor; reach out to the so many various agencies that are local to your area that are there to help you. But always show your son and daughter love and respect during this process. It’s as hard on them as it is you. Both of you take a deep breathe and don’t stop until your son/daughter is sober.
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
www.weareoneonline.org
(Sponser: www.realcollegetour.com)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Should you hide the truth about your son/daughters addiction?
Should you hide the truth about your son/daughters addiction?
This is one I face everyday. In fact, from people that you would least expect. This sometimes makes life difficult for me. Thank goodness I am strong in my recovery, but if I were not, I could imagine how I would use something as simple as this as an excuse to go back out and “use”. I’m also not embarrassed by my past. When I was, I was hiding, and guess where? So now I embrace it and I help others do as well. But let’s get into another issue.
Your kids
Adults are different. We have the wherewithal to look ahead and to plan our approach to this subject matter strategically and in a bit less of an abstract manner than our children do. Parents are there to make the decisions that will (hopefully) make a positive impact on the rest of their lives. This includes knowing not telling all your friends and neighbors about your child in addiction.
This is a touchy subject. The last thing we should be doing is enabling our kids. A perfect example of enabling them is not bringing this subject into light. However, it should only go so far. As a parent, think about whom you are talking to. You should talk outloud about this subject within the confines of your home and amongst family but don’t make it a habit to run around telling all your all your acquaintances. We all know how fast rumors and false stories start to spread. If you let the world know about your child’s drinking issue, you know it’s only a matter of time before the story morphs into him/her having an extreme heroin addiction. Also, take into consideration his future intentions with college or employers. Even though unfortunate, these future relationships may never kindle. That’s sad considering those in recovery are most often than not, highly intelligent with above average IQ’s.
So don’t go “blabbing it around town.”
Especially out of spite to your child’s behavior and addiction. This will only make this worse and cause a rift between you and your child. They will lose trust in you an ultimately develop resentment towards you, which may lead to more “use”. Instead, choose whom you tell carefully. If you do it to vent and feel better then that’s ok. If you do it to help you formulate opinions, that is ok too! Just be aware to your reasoning when discussing this with friends and family, if its for the right reason, then no harm no foul.
Its important to talk to people about this subject as you also need to heal and mend, just be careful with whom you are talking too.
Super Star
Crusader for Sobriety
www.weareoneonline.org
This is one I face everyday. In fact, from people that you would least expect. This sometimes makes life difficult for me. Thank goodness I am strong in my recovery, but if I were not, I could imagine how I would use something as simple as this as an excuse to go back out and “use”. I’m also not embarrassed by my past. When I was, I was hiding, and guess where? So now I embrace it and I help others do as well. But let’s get into another issue.
Your kids
Adults are different. We have the wherewithal to look ahead and to plan our approach to this subject matter strategically and in a bit less of an abstract manner than our children do. Parents are there to make the decisions that will (hopefully) make a positive impact on the rest of their lives. This includes knowing not telling all your friends and neighbors about your child in addiction.
This is a touchy subject. The last thing we should be doing is enabling our kids. A perfect example of enabling them is not bringing this subject into light. However, it should only go so far. As a parent, think about whom you are talking to. You should talk outloud about this subject within the confines of your home and amongst family but don’t make it a habit to run around telling all your all your acquaintances. We all know how fast rumors and false stories start to spread. If you let the world know about your child’s drinking issue, you know it’s only a matter of time before the story morphs into him/her having an extreme heroin addiction. Also, take into consideration his future intentions with college or employers. Even though unfortunate, these future relationships may never kindle. That’s sad considering those in recovery are most often than not, highly intelligent with above average IQ’s.
So don’t go “blabbing it around town.”
Especially out of spite to your child’s behavior and addiction. This will only make this worse and cause a rift between you and your child. They will lose trust in you an ultimately develop resentment towards you, which may lead to more “use”. Instead, choose whom you tell carefully. If you do it to vent and feel better then that’s ok. If you do it to help you formulate opinions, that is ok too! Just be aware to your reasoning when discussing this with friends and family, if its for the right reason, then no harm no foul.
Its important to talk to people about this subject as you also need to heal and mend, just be careful with whom you are talking too.
Super Star
Crusader for Sobriety
www.weareoneonline.org
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Whitney Houston, the icon that she is, is in denial!
Ok Crusaders, I would LOVE some feedback for a change on this one. Let me know what you think or if I helped in anyway or if you think I am just plain nuts! Send an email to super@superstarsuperstar.com
Ok, I was going to blog about steroids this evening and how I think they directly relate to substance abuse issues at our nations school but I just received an email from a parent asking what I thought of Oprah’s interview with Whitney Houston, so the steroid conversation will have to wait. And that’s probably for the best as the use of steroids in our schools hits a nerve with me like you wouldn’t believe.
Ok, first and foremost, to all the men out there that are reading this. I don’t sit and watch Oprah ever night. I think she is brilliant but my participation with her show pretty much stops there. However, when I heard Whitney Houston was going to be on to talk about her drug addiction, I made sure to clear my schedule and tune in. After all, kids will be tuning in as well and they will be listening and paying closer attention that you might think.
Let’s get another thing out of the way, I don’t own a single Whitney Houston CD ok guys, So save the emails. Nevertheless, if you don’t think she’s an icon, your need to have your brain checked. There is no one in this universe, nor even a parallel universe that can deny that voice. Its spectacular and she is indeed a living icon. However, she’s also an addict, just like me.
Let me get right to it and explain why I didn’t care for the interview. Immediately I was drawn to her and her story. Its so great to see that she is alive and breathing, unlike her friend Michael Jackson who died because he was couldn’t get the help he needed to escape his addiction to drugs. Whitney came clean about her use of marijuana right away and with this, I thought we were set for a truthful interview, but soon it would become obvious that I was wrong. Why? Because, I’m here to tell you, in no way was she telling the truth about her use of crack cocaine. As other blogs and news articles suggest, her claims of smoking them in tandum, was in my opinion, a blatant act of denial. We have all seen the pictures of the glass pipe on her bathroom counter. How could she of forgotten about this? Any why would Oprah not bring this up? On Whitney’s behalf, this was such an addict move and is called the act of minimization. The act of minimization is something that we addicts do all the time to make something that we did appear look smaller or more minute to the observer. This way we feel like less of an ass, and ultimately point the finger towards something or someone else. For example, Whitney’s effort of declaring “Bobby” her true drug was her effort of placing the blame for her use elsewhere. Yes, legitimately, we can perceive the closest individuals in our lives as a drug. For normal people this is to be considered to be more of an infatuation, however to us addicts, we can take something such as you looking in our general direction as a sign of “love.” It’s bizarre and scary for those on the outside watching in but no need to run, we just crave more attention than most and until you understand and grasp what the symptoms of addiction are about, you will always have this problem. No worries, this type of thinking can be fixed.
Anyway, I do not want to get crazy into the rest of the interview but I was fascinated by this story. Here is a woman who has enormous amounts of wealth. She can afford the BEST doctors and therapists, but yet, can’t get past what some of the homeless people living under the bridges of Chicago cant get past. That old darn issue of denial. When tackling your addiction, be real, the first step to overcoming it is to own up to it. Denial can kill you. Admit you have a problem in its entirety. Stop blaming where you work, or whom you hang with, or things you have seen that you claim make you want to use. Once you do that fully and 100%, the denial is gone.
The problem with this interview is that there will be some kids who will emulate this behavior. Kids who will think now that because Whitney did it, they too can minimize and not fully own up to their use. Please take note of what I pointed out during this blog regarding Whitney’s interview. If you even sense your kids aren’t “owning up” then you can stay one step ahead of them, stop them in their tracks, and help them face the reality of the situation by telling showing them where you know they are wrong.
Super Star Crusader for Sobriety
www.weareoneonline.org
Ok, I was going to blog about steroids this evening and how I think they directly relate to substance abuse issues at our nations school but I just received an email from a parent asking what I thought of Oprah’s interview with Whitney Houston, so the steroid conversation will have to wait. And that’s probably for the best as the use of steroids in our schools hits a nerve with me like you wouldn’t believe.
Ok, first and foremost, to all the men out there that are reading this. I don’t sit and watch Oprah ever night. I think she is brilliant but my participation with her show pretty much stops there. However, when I heard Whitney Houston was going to be on to talk about her drug addiction, I made sure to clear my schedule and tune in. After all, kids will be tuning in as well and they will be listening and paying closer attention that you might think.
Let’s get another thing out of the way, I don’t own a single Whitney Houston CD ok guys, So save the emails. Nevertheless, if you don’t think she’s an icon, your need to have your brain checked. There is no one in this universe, nor even a parallel universe that can deny that voice. Its spectacular and she is indeed a living icon. However, she’s also an addict, just like me.
Let me get right to it and explain why I didn’t care for the interview. Immediately I was drawn to her and her story. Its so great to see that she is alive and breathing, unlike her friend Michael Jackson who died because he was couldn’t get the help he needed to escape his addiction to drugs. Whitney came clean about her use of marijuana right away and with this, I thought we were set for a truthful interview, but soon it would become obvious that I was wrong. Why? Because, I’m here to tell you, in no way was she telling the truth about her use of crack cocaine. As other blogs and news articles suggest, her claims of smoking them in tandum, was in my opinion, a blatant act of denial. We have all seen the pictures of the glass pipe on her bathroom counter. How could she of forgotten about this? Any why would Oprah not bring this up? On Whitney’s behalf, this was such an addict move and is called the act of minimization. The act of minimization is something that we addicts do all the time to make something that we did appear look smaller or more minute to the observer. This way we feel like less of an ass, and ultimately point the finger towards something or someone else. For example, Whitney’s effort of declaring “Bobby” her true drug was her effort of placing the blame for her use elsewhere. Yes, legitimately, we can perceive the closest individuals in our lives as a drug. For normal people this is to be considered to be more of an infatuation, however to us addicts, we can take something such as you looking in our general direction as a sign of “love.” It’s bizarre and scary for those on the outside watching in but no need to run, we just crave more attention than most and until you understand and grasp what the symptoms of addiction are about, you will always have this problem. No worries, this type of thinking can be fixed.
Anyway, I do not want to get crazy into the rest of the interview but I was fascinated by this story. Here is a woman who has enormous amounts of wealth. She can afford the BEST doctors and therapists, but yet, can’t get past what some of the homeless people living under the bridges of Chicago cant get past. That old darn issue of denial. When tackling your addiction, be real, the first step to overcoming it is to own up to it. Denial can kill you. Admit you have a problem in its entirety. Stop blaming where you work, or whom you hang with, or things you have seen that you claim make you want to use. Once you do that fully and 100%, the denial is gone.
The problem with this interview is that there will be some kids who will emulate this behavior. Kids who will think now that because Whitney did it, they too can minimize and not fully own up to their use. Please take note of what I pointed out during this blog regarding Whitney’s interview. If you even sense your kids aren’t “owning up” then you can stay one step ahead of them, stop them in their tracks, and help them face the reality of the situation by telling showing them where you know they are wrong.
Super Star Crusader for Sobriety
www.weareoneonline.org
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Get real, drugs are at our schools and are easy to get.
If you like what you read here, please visit the We Are One Foundations website at www.weareoneonline.org to see how you could help me help others stay sober.
Drugs at school.
I read a report that in the year 2006, “more than 60 percent of teens were aware of drugs being sold, used, or kept at their school.” Knowing what I do now, I am not surprised at this. However, when I was in high school, I had no clue that drugs were so readily available. My point? Do not be naive. Drugs are at all our schools and are there for the taking. What are you going to do to help your son or daughter make the right decision?
It starts at home.
Right off the bat I can think of a couple things. One being to establish a clear family position on drugs. It's okay to say, "We don't allow any drug use and children in this family are not allowed to drink alcohol. The only time that you can take any drugs is when the doctor or Mom or Dad gives you medicine when you're sick. Tell them why you made this rule and don’t be afraid to “get” real about it. Tell them that you love them very much and don’t want to see them get sick because that’s what drugs will do to them. Also, don’t be afraid to tell them that drugs can kill. They need to be afraid of them. I wish I was. I also wish my friend John who died last month from an overdose were . Unfortunately, it’s too late for him but it’s never too late for you to warn your kids about the seriousness of drugs. Ask them if they have questions and talk to them as often as you can about this, because when you’re not talking to them, rest assured someone else is.
In addition, be a good example
Children will do what you do much more readily than what you say. So try not to reach for a beer the minute you come home after a tough day; it sends the message that drinking is the best way to unwind. Offer dinner guests non-alcoholic drinks in addition to wine and spirits. Moreover, take care not to pop pills, even over-the-counter remedies, indiscriminately. Your behavior needs to reflect your beliefs. Kids are very intuitive and so so much smarter than we adults often give them credit for. Always know that they are watching and emulating their heroes, believe it or not, its you.
I know it must be tough being a parent and having to try to protect your kids from the dangers that surround them day in and day out. We’d like to think that the schools that we send them to were some sort of safe houses for them but they are increasingly becoming more dangerous than ever before. That’s why its important to stay on top of this subject at home and in the schools themselves.
If you would like to have Super Star and Rock Star at your children’s school to talk to them about drugs then check out our programs via our website at www.weareoneonline.org.
Super Star
www.suprstarsuperstar.com
Drugs at school.
I read a report that in the year 2006, “more than 60 percent of teens were aware of drugs being sold, used, or kept at their school.” Knowing what I do now, I am not surprised at this. However, when I was in high school, I had no clue that drugs were so readily available. My point? Do not be naive. Drugs are at all our schools and are there for the taking. What are you going to do to help your son or daughter make the right decision?
It starts at home.
Right off the bat I can think of a couple things. One being to establish a clear family position on drugs. It's okay to say, "We don't allow any drug use and children in this family are not allowed to drink alcohol. The only time that you can take any drugs is when the doctor or Mom or Dad gives you medicine when you're sick. Tell them why you made this rule and don’t be afraid to “get” real about it. Tell them that you love them very much and don’t want to see them get sick because that’s what drugs will do to them. Also, don’t be afraid to tell them that drugs can kill. They need to be afraid of them. I wish I was. I also wish my friend John who died last month from an overdose were . Unfortunately, it’s too late for him but it’s never too late for you to warn your kids about the seriousness of drugs. Ask them if they have questions and talk to them as often as you can about this, because when you’re not talking to them, rest assured someone else is.
In addition, be a good example
Children will do what you do much more readily than what you say. So try not to reach for a beer the minute you come home after a tough day; it sends the message that drinking is the best way to unwind. Offer dinner guests non-alcoholic drinks in addition to wine and spirits. Moreover, take care not to pop pills, even over-the-counter remedies, indiscriminately. Your behavior needs to reflect your beliefs. Kids are very intuitive and so so much smarter than we adults often give them credit for. Always know that they are watching and emulating their heroes, believe it or not, its you.
I know it must be tough being a parent and having to try to protect your kids from the dangers that surround them day in and day out. We’d like to think that the schools that we send them to were some sort of safe houses for them but they are increasingly becoming more dangerous than ever before. That’s why its important to stay on top of this subject at home and in the schools themselves.
If you would like to have Super Star and Rock Star at your children’s school to talk to them about drugs then check out our programs via our website at www.weareoneonline.org.
Super Star
www.suprstarsuperstar.com
Friday, September 11, 2009
Think cigarettes can’t lead your child to drugs? Think again.
Think cigarettes can’t lead your child to drugs? Think again. If your son or daughter has just been busted smoking at school or by you, then after you get your yelling out of the way, sit them down and talk about it. Why bother? Here is a perfect example and it comes from my not so nice past.
I can recall looking for a way out from my emotions early on. It’s what us addicts do as we have a fear of actually dealing and working through our problems. Most of the time it’s because we were never given the proper tools and/or developed the self-confidence to even bother trying. For the most part, we think that numbing our feelings will make them go away. That is until we are in our full-blown addiction and the consequences of our use starts to rear its ugly head. Why do I bring this up? Its because the cigarettes are what I first used as an escape mechanism. There was a deeper reason to my smoking them other than just the obvious one, to look cool.
At the age of 12ish or so, I can recall not feeling so good about who I was. The kids at school didn’t seem to like my brother nor I to the level that I had hoped. Being picked last in gym class did hurt. Seeing the girl’s chase the more popular did hurt. Going home to an empty house all the time, sucked. I needed to get away. This led to my discovery of the cigarette.
I didn’t smoke all that often because I didn’t want others to know that I was doing such a disgusting act. I would hide in the woods behind the shed and puff away until I caught enough of a buzz to feel like I was flying away from all the issues that at the time seemed so unconquerable. Eventually my smoking led to my drinking, and so on and so on.
I see kids that are the same age everyday walking down the street smoking and being less discrete about this action and I sometimes wonder. Do their parents know? Does the child know the path he/she is on could be fatal? What are they running from?
One thing is for sure, if your child is smoking, don’t fall for the standard excuse that its just for show. That is bull. There is always a deeper meaning and reasoning behind this action. They are running from something and it’s your responsibility as a parent to get to the bottom of the issue and try to help them face their emotions successfully. I wish to god someone did this for me when I was younger, it would have saved me from the devastating 18 years of drug addiction that all first stemmed from smoking that first cigarette.
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
Pre-order the CD “Serenity” from the We Are One store today located at www.weareonestore.com. All proceeds go towards helping us continue to raise awareness to the dreaded disease of addiction within our communities.
I can recall looking for a way out from my emotions early on. It’s what us addicts do as we have a fear of actually dealing and working through our problems. Most of the time it’s because we were never given the proper tools and/or developed the self-confidence to even bother trying. For the most part, we think that numbing our feelings will make them go away. That is until we are in our full-blown addiction and the consequences of our use starts to rear its ugly head. Why do I bring this up? Its because the cigarettes are what I first used as an escape mechanism. There was a deeper reason to my smoking them other than just the obvious one, to look cool.
At the age of 12ish or so, I can recall not feeling so good about who I was. The kids at school didn’t seem to like my brother nor I to the level that I had hoped. Being picked last in gym class did hurt. Seeing the girl’s chase the more popular did hurt. Going home to an empty house all the time, sucked. I needed to get away. This led to my discovery of the cigarette.
I didn’t smoke all that often because I didn’t want others to know that I was doing such a disgusting act. I would hide in the woods behind the shed and puff away until I caught enough of a buzz to feel like I was flying away from all the issues that at the time seemed so unconquerable. Eventually my smoking led to my drinking, and so on and so on.
I see kids that are the same age everyday walking down the street smoking and being less discrete about this action and I sometimes wonder. Do their parents know? Does the child know the path he/she is on could be fatal? What are they running from?
One thing is for sure, if your child is smoking, don’t fall for the standard excuse that its just for show. That is bull. There is always a deeper meaning and reasoning behind this action. They are running from something and it’s your responsibility as a parent to get to the bottom of the issue and try to help them face their emotions successfully. I wish to god someone did this for me when I was younger, it would have saved me from the devastating 18 years of drug addiction that all first stemmed from smoking that first cigarette.
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
Pre-order the CD “Serenity” from the We Are One store today located at www.weareonestore.com. All proceeds go towards helping us continue to raise awareness to the dreaded disease of addiction within our communities.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Working out with your kids during recovery.
(Please subscibe to my blog if you like what you read and vist my website at www.superstarsuperstar.com!)
Working out with your kids during recovery.
Um yeah! No brainier. For your kids or for yourself. This is something that I find as a must. Now do not get any pre-misconceptions. When I say “working out”, THAT does not necessarily mean you have to be tied into a gym. Working out can be so many different things. Hiking, biking, walking, bowling, walking the dogs. Anything that involves even the slightest bit of strenuous activity is considered to be working out. I however prefer the gym! Let me tell you why it’s so important especially while early in recovery.
At its most basic level, working out makes you feel amazing! It makes you looks amazing and it makes your thinking a little less stinkin. No, really! While in rehab, we were shuttled to the gym five days a week. There is something so magical and powerful about having healthy endorphins, that drugs could never provide, rush through your body as you strengthen and sculpt your muscles. The fact that the treatment center was pro health and provided every opportunity for us to heal and thrive only proved to me that someone somewhere must have done some sort of study proving its benefits.
Working out was something I had started to do while in my second week of recovery and I have no doubt in my mind that it has been a cinder block in my success. It has cleared my mind from cravings on numerous occasions and has built up my self-confidence to a level that even my brother is envious of.
To really drive home the point to the importance of working out and getting in shape, I am going to be riding a bike starting Oct 6th from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. Its going to be brutal but so was my effort of getting sober, so what? Im going to do it despite almost 100% of people telling me I wont have a chance in hell at crossing the finish line. When you believe in yourself you can do whatever the heck you want in this world providing you are healthy enough to attempt it
So if you or your child is in recovery from substance abuse, get them outside or to the gym. Because they are recovering addicts, in no time they will get excited about the changes they are seeing and let their enthusiasm take them to the next day, sober.
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
Working out with your kids during recovery.
Um yeah! No brainier. For your kids or for yourself. This is something that I find as a must. Now do not get any pre-misconceptions. When I say “working out”, THAT does not necessarily mean you have to be tied into a gym. Working out can be so many different things. Hiking, biking, walking, bowling, walking the dogs. Anything that involves even the slightest bit of strenuous activity is considered to be working out. I however prefer the gym! Let me tell you why it’s so important especially while early in recovery.
At its most basic level, working out makes you feel amazing! It makes you looks amazing and it makes your thinking a little less stinkin. No, really! While in rehab, we were shuttled to the gym five days a week. There is something so magical and powerful about having healthy endorphins, that drugs could never provide, rush through your body as you strengthen and sculpt your muscles. The fact that the treatment center was pro health and provided every opportunity for us to heal and thrive only proved to me that someone somewhere must have done some sort of study proving its benefits.
Working out was something I had started to do while in my second week of recovery and I have no doubt in my mind that it has been a cinder block in my success. It has cleared my mind from cravings on numerous occasions and has built up my self-confidence to a level that even my brother is envious of.
To really drive home the point to the importance of working out and getting in shape, I am going to be riding a bike starting Oct 6th from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. Its going to be brutal but so was my effort of getting sober, so what? Im going to do it despite almost 100% of people telling me I wont have a chance in hell at crossing the finish line. When you believe in yourself you can do whatever the heck you want in this world providing you are healthy enough to attempt it
So if you or your child is in recovery from substance abuse, get them outside or to the gym. Because they are recovering addicts, in no time they will get excited about the changes they are seeing and let their enthusiasm take them to the next day, sober.
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Sleeping too much after rehab?
I was at the gym today here in Chicagoland and was approached by a mother whose son just came back from rehab. I do not know how she “knew” who I was, most here do not yet, but she did, and obviously felt comfortable with approaching me. Her concern was her son’s apparent desire to do nothing more than sleep since returning home.
It is not at all uncommon for people to sleep after they have gone through rehab and are now facing life sober. He is sober and this is quite an exhaustive accomplishment for someone early in recovery. This accomplishment is so much more important than anything else right now, so if he is sleeping for the first couple days after returning, leave him/her be. It is important to note however that this sleeping pattern should not continue past the first few days. I have found that keeping busy and structure are THE most important things to maintaining ones sobriety, so after a couple days, get him up and on his feet. Get him/her outside, take them shopping with you, or anything else you can think of to keep them busy. I know its demanding at times, but its certainly better than the alternative. Besides, this extra time is wonderful for creating an even stringer bond between you and your child. And who knows, you might actually end up liking their music after all!
Realize it your son/daughter who is responsible for his recovery, however, not responsible for having the disease. Don’t be mad at him. It will only frustrate the both of you and this they may use as an excuse go relapse. Try to put your frustration back on the disease. Parents are not prepared to deal with diseases such as addiction to don’t take this out on yourself either. Just do the best you can do, get educated, and be there for your child, they, just as you, can do this!
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
It is not at all uncommon for people to sleep after they have gone through rehab and are now facing life sober. He is sober and this is quite an exhaustive accomplishment for someone early in recovery. This accomplishment is so much more important than anything else right now, so if he is sleeping for the first couple days after returning, leave him/her be. It is important to note however that this sleeping pattern should not continue past the first few days. I have found that keeping busy and structure are THE most important things to maintaining ones sobriety, so after a couple days, get him up and on his feet. Get him/her outside, take them shopping with you, or anything else you can think of to keep them busy. I know its demanding at times, but its certainly better than the alternative. Besides, this extra time is wonderful for creating an even stringer bond between you and your child. And who knows, you might actually end up liking their music after all!
Realize it your son/daughter who is responsible for his recovery, however, not responsible for having the disease. Don’t be mad at him. It will only frustrate the both of you and this they may use as an excuse go relapse. Try to put your frustration back on the disease. Parents are not prepared to deal with diseases such as addiction to don’t take this out on yourself either. Just do the best you can do, get educated, and be there for your child, they, just as you, can do this!
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.org
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Why you should read into DJ AM's Death.
I am just so sad to read about this guys death. I never knew him, never heard a note of his music but understood his story. It’s tragic. 4 years clean and with one relapse, he’s gone. It’s a shame.
Apparently he didn't look like he was struggling. But this is a crazy disease. With people in the spot light it's about looking good, alot of people have to look good in the entertainment business. It's about ... having a smile on your face, and telling everyone you're okay, but if you're not being real and honest, this is how you end up. And let me tell you, it’s the same in our schools. Lets not forget what it was like for us in school. All of us (at least we felt this way) had the spot lights on us at all times. All our friends and peers were watching us and talking to their friends about us. There is no doubt the teachers were doing the same thing.
If you think your child has successfully beaten down his/her addiction and its never to be seen again, your naive. Our addiction is always around the corner and its getting stronger by the minute. The trick is to never let it meet us again. Unfortunately, for DJ AM, the encounter led to his death. The lesson here: Keep the lines of communication open and stay on top of the subject at home. Bring it up often and check in with your child’s recovery. Call it a progress report and get regular updates. Our disease can reengage with us at any second if we aren’t paying attention. Don’t worry about being called a pain in the ass by your child or worry if they seem annoyed with having to provide you with regular updates on their well-being. They will come to understand later in life that you did the right thing and might also have saved their life.
Read more about what I do at www.superstarsuperstar.com or www.weareoneonline.org
Super Star
Apparently he didn't look like he was struggling. But this is a crazy disease. With people in the spot light it's about looking good, alot of people have to look good in the entertainment business. It's about ... having a smile on your face, and telling everyone you're okay, but if you're not being real and honest, this is how you end up. And let me tell you, it’s the same in our schools. Lets not forget what it was like for us in school. All of us (at least we felt this way) had the spot lights on us at all times. All our friends and peers were watching us and talking to their friends about us. There is no doubt the teachers were doing the same thing.
If you think your child has successfully beaten down his/her addiction and its never to be seen again, your naive. Our addiction is always around the corner and its getting stronger by the minute. The trick is to never let it meet us again. Unfortunately, for DJ AM, the encounter led to his death. The lesson here: Keep the lines of communication open and stay on top of the subject at home. Bring it up often and check in with your child’s recovery. Call it a progress report and get regular updates. Our disease can reengage with us at any second if we aren’t paying attention. Don’t worry about being called a pain in the ass by your child or worry if they seem annoyed with having to provide you with regular updates on their well-being. They will come to understand later in life that you did the right thing and might also have saved their life.
Read more about what I do at www.superstarsuperstar.com or www.weareoneonline.org
Super Star
Monday, August 31, 2009
Keep your kids busy!
What better way to start today off than by helping a kid stop using BEFORE he hits rock bottom. My morning wake-up call today was from a mom of a child I had worked with almost a year ago. She was calling to thank me. Thank me for introducing her child to the wonderful word of what I call “preoccupation.” Preoccupation is what I stress the most. Staying busy with something your child enjoys will each and everytime have nothing less than a positive affect on your child’s desire to get and stay clean. I introduce most kids I work with to the wonderful world of music by introducing them to a musical instrument. This keeps them so busy and motivates them to do some amazing things. Many have gone on to start bands themselves, thus keeping them busy and sober.
Whether it is the gym, band class, sports, or something else, get your kids interested in something they enjoy early on. If they are busy with constructive and fun things that they find comforting, then they are less apt to let their minds wander to drugs.
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
www.weareoneonline.org
Whether it is the gym, band class, sports, or something else, get your kids interested in something they enjoy early on. If they are busy with constructive and fun things that they find comforting, then they are less apt to let their minds wander to drugs.
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
www.weareoneonline.org
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Tolerance and withdrawal from drugs
Tolerance and withdrawal from drugs, do the research!
Did you know that most abused drugs are not only mentally addictive but physically addictive as well? Over time, tolerance is built up to almost all drug use. More and more of the drug is needed to achieve the desired effect.It happened very quickly for me with crack and I know this happens to everyone else as well. As the body physically adjusts to the abusers drug of choice, trying to cut down or stop is unpleasant or even painful. This is most common with Heroin, Barbiturates (Benzos), and Alcohol. These withdrawal symptoms, depending on the drug, can include shakes, chills, severe aches and pains, difficulty sleeping, agitation, depression, and even hallucinations or psychosis. Many addicts would rather continue to use than have to face the pain and uncomfortableness of withdraw. Avoiding this withdrawal adds to the urgency of keeping up drug abuse and increases the dependence on the drug. Its important to know what the risks are associated with your drug as you go through withdrawals. For example, there are two drugs that can cause death during withdrawal. These are alcohol and benzos. The abusers of these two drugs should seek treatment while trying to break their dependence from them. All others are extremely unpleasant but can be dealt with outside a medical facility.
Any attempt to go through “withdrawal” yourself or for your child should involve proper research. Get the facts beforehand, this will make the attempt more successful and might save your child’s life.
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.com
Did you know that most abused drugs are not only mentally addictive but physically addictive as well? Over time, tolerance is built up to almost all drug use. More and more of the drug is needed to achieve the desired effect.It happened very quickly for me with crack and I know this happens to everyone else as well. As the body physically adjusts to the abusers drug of choice, trying to cut down or stop is unpleasant or even painful. This is most common with Heroin, Barbiturates (Benzos), and Alcohol. These withdrawal symptoms, depending on the drug, can include shakes, chills, severe aches and pains, difficulty sleeping, agitation, depression, and even hallucinations or psychosis. Many addicts would rather continue to use than have to face the pain and uncomfortableness of withdraw. Avoiding this withdrawal adds to the urgency of keeping up drug abuse and increases the dependence on the drug. Its important to know what the risks are associated with your drug as you go through withdrawals. For example, there are two drugs that can cause death during withdrawal. These are alcohol and benzos. The abusers of these two drugs should seek treatment while trying to break their dependence from them. All others are extremely unpleasant but can be dealt with outside a medical facility.
Any attempt to go through “withdrawal” yourself or for your child should involve proper research. Get the facts beforehand, this will make the attempt more successful and might save your child’s life.
Super Star
www.weareoneonline.com
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The alcoholic parents effects on our children
It has always been obvious to me that addiction runs in the family. Some call that an excuse and purely stupid. However, you can’t ignore the facts. Alcoholism and other drug addiction do tend to run in families. Children of addicted parents are more at risk for alcoholism and other drug abuse than are other children. Here are some of those facts
• Children of addicted parents are the highest risk group of children to become alcohol and drug abusers due to both genetic and family environment factors.
• Biological children of alcohol dependent parents who have been adopted continue to have an increased risk (2-9 fold) of developing alcoholism.
• Recent studies suggest a strong genetic component, particularly for early onset of alcoholism in males. Sons of alcoholic fathers are at fourfold risk compared with the male offspring of non-alcoholic fathers.
• Use of substances by parents and their adolescent children is strongly correlated; generally, if parents take drugs, sooner or later their children will also.4 Adolescents who use drugs are more likely to have one or more parents who also use drugs.
• The influence of parental attitudes on a child's drug taking behaviors may be as important as actual drug abuse by the parents. An adolescent who perceives that a parent is permissive about the use of drugs is more likely to use drugs.
Get help for yourself or someone you know. Please
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
• Children of addicted parents are the highest risk group of children to become alcohol and drug abusers due to both genetic and family environment factors.
• Biological children of alcohol dependent parents who have been adopted continue to have an increased risk (2-9 fold) of developing alcoholism.
• Recent studies suggest a strong genetic component, particularly for early onset of alcoholism in males. Sons of alcoholic fathers are at fourfold risk compared with the male offspring of non-alcoholic fathers.
• Use of substances by parents and their adolescent children is strongly correlated; generally, if parents take drugs, sooner or later their children will also.4 Adolescents who use drugs are more likely to have one or more parents who also use drugs.
• The influence of parental attitudes on a child's drug taking behaviors may be as important as actual drug abuse by the parents. An adolescent who perceives that a parent is permissive about the use of drugs is more likely to use drugs.
Get help for yourself or someone you know. Please
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Understanding the three categories of substance abuse
As far as I am concerned, there are three categories of substance abuse. It might help for me to give you a once over of the each of them. Of course, all of them are bad with Dependence being the worst so it is important to recognize the differences. Doing so will help you decipher your plan of attack in regards to seeking the proper help.
A. Use: The occasional use of alcohol or other drugs without developing tolerance or withdrawal symptoms when not in use.
B. Abuse: The continued use of alcohol or other drugs even while knowing that the continued use is creating problems socially, physically, or psychologically.
C. Dependence: At least three of the following factors must be present:a. Substance is taken in larger amounts or over longer periods of time than the person intended.b. A persistent desire with unsuccessful efforts to control the use.c. Large periods of time spent obtaining, taking, or recovering from, the substance.d. Frequent periods of intoxication or detoxification especially when social and major role obligations are expected (school, social situations, etc.)e. Continued use even while knowing that the continued use is creating problems socially, physically, and/or psychologically.f. Increased toleranceg. Withdrawal symptomsh. Substance taken to relieve withdrawal symptoms.
Remember, doing your homework and educating yourself about this disease is the best plan of attack. You have to work both the offense and the defense to succeed.
Super Starhttp://www.superstarsuperstar.com/
http://www.weareoneonline.com/
A. Use: The occasional use of alcohol or other drugs without developing tolerance or withdrawal symptoms when not in use.
B. Abuse: The continued use of alcohol or other drugs even while knowing that the continued use is creating problems socially, physically, or psychologically.
C. Dependence: At least three of the following factors must be present:a. Substance is taken in larger amounts or over longer periods of time than the person intended.b. A persistent desire with unsuccessful efforts to control the use.c. Large periods of time spent obtaining, taking, or recovering from, the substance.d. Frequent periods of intoxication or detoxification especially when social and major role obligations are expected (school, social situations, etc.)e. Continued use even while knowing that the continued use is creating problems socially, physically, and/or psychologically.f. Increased toleranceg. Withdrawal symptomsh. Substance taken to relieve withdrawal symptoms.
Remember, doing your homework and educating yourself about this disease is the best plan of attack. You have to work both the offense and the defense to succeed.
Super Starhttp://www.superstarsuperstar.com/
http://www.weareoneonline.com/
Friday, August 21, 2009
Some quick statistics on the drug use amongst our youth
I read some interesting static’s today. They are astounding to me.
For example, did you know that every day, approximately 4,700 American youth under the age of 18 try marijuana for the first time? Since I intend to get my butt over to some schools this year let me put this into the “schools theme’s” perceptive. That is about equal to the enrollment of six average-sized U.S. high schools. Crazy huh?
In 2003, nearly nine out of 10 twelfth graders reported marijuana as being easily accessible. I don’t recall it being so easy to get when I was younger, but then again, I wasn’t looking for it while in high school. However, I can recall hearing that it was there if I wanted it.
Here’s another on for you. By the time students finish the eighth grade, approximately 50 percent of them have had at least one drink, with more than 20 percent of them having been “drunk.” Scary to know that becoming drunk for me the first time did actually happen while I was in the 8th grade and I can recall it opening many doors for my addiction
Drug and alcohol use by teens increases the risk of addiction and can change the developing brain for life. Despite these statistics, one thing remains true:
Our parents are the most important influence in a teen’s decisions about drug use. You can and do make a difference. If you suspect or know that your child using drugs, take action now, because the longer you wait, the harder it will be to deal with your child’s drug use and in some circumstances, it may be too late.
Super Star
http://www.superstarsuperstar.com/
http://www.weareoneonline.com/
For example, did you know that every day, approximately 4,700 American youth under the age of 18 try marijuana for the first time? Since I intend to get my butt over to some schools this year let me put this into the “schools theme’s” perceptive. That is about equal to the enrollment of six average-sized U.S. high schools. Crazy huh?
In 2003, nearly nine out of 10 twelfth graders reported marijuana as being easily accessible. I don’t recall it being so easy to get when I was younger, but then again, I wasn’t looking for it while in high school. However, I can recall hearing that it was there if I wanted it.
Here’s another on for you. By the time students finish the eighth grade, approximately 50 percent of them have had at least one drink, with more than 20 percent of them having been “drunk.” Scary to know that becoming drunk for me the first time did actually happen while I was in the 8th grade and I can recall it opening many doors for my addiction
Drug and alcohol use by teens increases the risk of addiction and can change the developing brain for life. Despite these statistics, one thing remains true:
Our parents are the most important influence in a teen’s decisions about drug use. You can and do make a difference. If you suspect or know that your child using drugs, take action now, because the longer you wait, the harder it will be to deal with your child’s drug use and in some circumstances, it may be too late.
Super Star
http://www.superstarsuperstar.com/
http://www.weareoneonline.com/
Thursday, August 20, 2009
It is important to distinguish between chemical use, chemical abuse and chemical dependency early on.
Chemical use is the broad category that includes everything from an occasional beer to total debilitating addiction. All users are not abusers, nor are all abusers addicts. Every person reacts differently when presented with a particular drug. Some people will experience side effects that range from mild to deadly.
Chemical abuse refers to a pattern in which using chemical leads to serious harmful consequences. Approximately 70% of all alcoholics start drinking while they are in high school. Alcoholism is the only completely preventable disease, meaning if you don't drink alcohol, you will not become an alcoholic. Its as simple as that.
Not all abusers are physically dependent or addicted to alcohol or drugs. This makes it difficult to diagnose true dependency among teenage abusers. Not only is it more difficult to diagnose addiction in this group, it is also much harder to treat the condition successfully. The influence of a teen's peers can also introduce problems when seeking treatment. Don’t be afraid to step up and talk to the parents of the per that you think might be a bad influence on your child.
One of the most effective predictors of trouble is the quality of communication between parent and teenager. When adolescents feel utterly misunderstood, when they have no sense of trust or security in their family, they are at risk for abusing chemicals. Anyone who abuses drugs or alcohol runs the risk of becoming addicted. If you see signs of abuse, use this opportunity to strengthen the bond of communication with your son or daughter. Be patient, but don't be naïve. Adolescents who are heavily involved with drugs and alcohol usually lie about it, at least initially. Don't be put off by reassuring words if you continue to see signs that disturb you. Don't let your teen's statements lead you to believe their actions aren't risky.
Being a parent of a child on drugs is not easy. There is nothing easy about it. However, its part of the responsibility of bring a child into this world isn’t it? I urge you, please do not abandon your child or think that the issue is just a fad and will simply go away. It may not. I have talked with parents who no longer have their child because of overdoses and terrible accidents. The number one most common statement from them is “I wish I had done more to help them”. Don’t let this happen to you. Step up at all costs!
Chemical abuse refers to a pattern in which using chemical leads to serious harmful consequences. Approximately 70% of all alcoholics start drinking while they are in high school. Alcoholism is the only completely preventable disease, meaning if you don't drink alcohol, you will not become an alcoholic. Its as simple as that.
Not all abusers are physically dependent or addicted to alcohol or drugs. This makes it difficult to diagnose true dependency among teenage abusers. Not only is it more difficult to diagnose addiction in this group, it is also much harder to treat the condition successfully. The influence of a teen's peers can also introduce problems when seeking treatment. Don’t be afraid to step up and talk to the parents of the per that you think might be a bad influence on your child.
One of the most effective predictors of trouble is the quality of communication between parent and teenager. When adolescents feel utterly misunderstood, when they have no sense of trust or security in their family, they are at risk for abusing chemicals. Anyone who abuses drugs or alcohol runs the risk of becoming addicted. If you see signs of abuse, use this opportunity to strengthen the bond of communication with your son or daughter. Be patient, but don't be naïve. Adolescents who are heavily involved with drugs and alcohol usually lie about it, at least initially. Don't be put off by reassuring words if you continue to see signs that disturb you. Don't let your teen's statements lead you to believe their actions aren't risky.
Being a parent of a child on drugs is not easy. There is nothing easy about it. However, its part of the responsibility of bring a child into this world isn’t it? I urge you, please do not abandon your child or think that the issue is just a fad and will simply go away. It may not. I have talked with parents who no longer have their child because of overdoses and terrible accidents. The number one most common statement from them is “I wish I had done more to help them”. Don’t let this happen to you. Step up at all costs!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Warning signs that your child may have a substance abuse problem.
For parents to get an understanding of how quick the tables can turn for their child let me explain how fast my addiction took me over.
My addiction hit me quick. Within a week of receiving my first hit of crack, I had sold all my possessions. There was not much time in between it going from fun to full-blown addiction. At the most, maybe 20 seconds. For most addicts, drinking and drugging starts off as recreational but as we all find, soon becomes a necessity. (Or so we think). Using alcohol or drugs regularly is usually just a step away from addiction — where you depend on these substances to feel good or get through your day.
Here are a few warning signs that your child may have a substance abuse problem:
Its harder for our children to realize they might have a problem because they are less awre of what real consequences and what the true addiction signs may be. This is when the family needs to step in. Quitting is hard to do, and many people find they cannot do it without help. Don’t let them deal with their problem alone.
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
My addiction hit me quick. Within a week of receiving my first hit of crack, I had sold all my possessions. There was not much time in between it going from fun to full-blown addiction. At the most, maybe 20 seconds. For most addicts, drinking and drugging starts off as recreational but as we all find, soon becomes a necessity. (Or so we think). Using alcohol or drugs regularly is usually just a step away from addiction — where you depend on these substances to feel good or get through your day.
Here are a few warning signs that your child may have a substance abuse problem:
1. relying on drugs or alcohol to have fun, forget problems, or relax
2. having blackouts
3. drinking or using drugs while alone
4. withdrawing or keeping secrets from friends or family
l5. osing interest in school activities that used to be important
6. performing differently in school (such as grades dropping and frequent absences)
7. building an increased tolerance to alcohol or drugs — gradually needing more and more of the 8. substance to get the same feeling
9. lying, stealing, or selling stuff to get money for drugs or alcohol
Its harder for our children to realize they might have a problem because they are less awre of what real consequences and what the true addiction signs may be. This is when the family needs to step in. Quitting is hard to do, and many people find they cannot do it without help. Don’t let them deal with their problem alone.
Super Star
www.superstarsuperstar.com
Sunday, August 16, 2009
If your child is an addict....
I ran into someone at a meeting today and had a disaagrentment with her regarding her thoughts about how she was “helping” her child through addiction. From what she described, this help seemed almost non-existent. She thought that ignoring the issue was her way of not enabling the situation and just as her mom did to her while she was young, it was for her daughter to find our later as an adult that drug use is a “bad thing”. That is a quote. Disgusting isn’t it? The rest of the details of the conversation don’t matter. However, let me tell you what does.
One of the best reasons to get a help for teens while they are still teenagers, beyond being a very formidable time in a child’s life, is the consequences of inaction upon future generations. Statistics have shown that instances of teen drug addiction run in long chains from parents to children. This is why now is the time to either break the chain of teen drug addiction or stop it from forming. No amount of hard work, money, sacrifice is worth more than breaking a chain of substance abuse or preventing one from forming.
Break that chain now!
One of the best reasons to get a help for teens while they are still teenagers, beyond being a very formidable time in a child’s life, is the consequences of inaction upon future generations. Statistics have shown that instances of teen drug addiction run in long chains from parents to children. This is why now is the time to either break the chain of teen drug addiction or stop it from forming. No amount of hard work, money, sacrifice is worth more than breaking a chain of substance abuse or preventing one from forming.
Break that chain now!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Are You An Enabler to your child?
When parents are affected by their own child's denial of alcohol or drug abuse, they often act in ways that protect the addict from experiencing the full consequences of his or her behaviors. This type of protective behavior, although often motivated by love and concern, is referred to as enabling, because it permits the child to continue drinking and allows the disease to progress, the symptoms to intensify and the consequences to become worse for all concerned. Like denial, enabling is another one of the symptoms of addictions—a symptom displayed by others, not by the addict child.
Yes, you read that right. It is a well-recognized aspect of the disease and it can come from you. Pay very close attention to this. If you are an enabler, you have to find the strength within yourself to stop. There are many organizations setup that can help you.
Special groups, like Nar-Anon, Al-Anon and Al-Ateen, have been established to help people concerned about the addicts in their lives to understand them and to help them, largely by gaining the strength to stop enabling. Overcoming denial and enabling is often the first step into treatment for the drug or alcohol abuser. Check out my links page on www.superstarsuperstar.com to find one of these meetings closest to you and get to one if you find that you might be an enabler.
It’s going to be had to stop but like my song says, “You can do it!”
Yes, you read that right. It is a well-recognized aspect of the disease and it can come from you. Pay very close attention to this. If you are an enabler, you have to find the strength within yourself to stop. There are many organizations setup that can help you.
Special groups, like Nar-Anon, Al-Anon and Al-Ateen, have been established to help people concerned about the addicts in their lives to understand them and to help them, largely by gaining the strength to stop enabling. Overcoming denial and enabling is often the first step into treatment for the drug or alcohol abuser. Check out my links page on www.superstarsuperstar.com to find one of these meetings closest to you and get to one if you find that you might be an enabler.
It’s going to be had to stop but like my song says, “You can do it!”
Friday, August 14, 2009
Watch list for Parents
I've created a watch list for parents. So many more things can be added but these are some good telling signs that there might be an issue on your hands.....
Watch List for Parents
1. Changes in friends
2. Negative changes in schoolwork, missing school, or declining grades
3. Increased secrecy about possessions or activities
4. Use of incense, room deodorant, or perfume to hide smoke or chemical odors
5. Subtle changes in conversations with friends, e.g. more secretive, using “coded” language
6. Change in clothing choices: new fascination with clothes that highlight drug use
7. Increase in borrowing money
8. Evidence of drug paraphernalia such as pipes, rolling papers, etc.
9. Evidence of use of inhalant products (such as hairspray, nail polish, correction fluid, common 10. household products); Rags and paper bags are sometimes used as accessories
11. Bottles of eye drops, which may be used to mask bloodshot eyes or dilated pupils
12. New use of mouthwash or breath mints to cover up the smell of alcohol
13. Missing prescription drugs—especially narcotics and mood stabilizers
Keep an eye out to any of these things, sit them down, and TALK with them, even if what you suspect turns out to be wrong. Your kids will gain a lot more respect for you if you do not shy away from this issue.
Watch List for Parents
1. Changes in friends
2. Negative changes in schoolwork, missing school, or declining grades
3. Increased secrecy about possessions or activities
4. Use of incense, room deodorant, or perfume to hide smoke or chemical odors
5. Subtle changes in conversations with friends, e.g. more secretive, using “coded” language
6. Change in clothing choices: new fascination with clothes that highlight drug use
7. Increase in borrowing money
8. Evidence of drug paraphernalia such as pipes, rolling papers, etc.
9. Evidence of use of inhalant products (such as hairspray, nail polish, correction fluid, common 10. household products); Rags and paper bags are sometimes used as accessories
11. Bottles of eye drops, which may be used to mask bloodshot eyes or dilated pupils
12. New use of mouthwash or breath mints to cover up the smell of alcohol
13. Missing prescription drugs—especially narcotics and mood stabilizers
Keep an eye out to any of these things, sit them down, and TALK with them, even if what you suspect turns out to be wrong. Your kids will gain a lot more respect for you if you do not shy away from this issue.
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